A DAY IN "THE LIFE OF RILEY"

Three Julys ago (2004), my late, great boyfriend Kodjoe introduced an awesome life work to me. It's called MOMENTUM - www.momentumeducation.com - and it continues to enrich my life in ways I never thought it could. Basically, I thought my life was pretty amazing. MOMENTUM challenged me to take it to the next level. And what a blessing LIFE continues to be as I play in the realm of SELF-DISCOVERY vs. the safe and comfortable. The MOMENTUM offering is comprised of three levels - BASIC, ADVANCE, and LEADERSHIP TRAINING. BASIC is a four-day course (two half-day evenings on Thursday and Friday followed by a full  Saturday and Sunday). Inside this classroom of diverse people, the course's design has the power to connect anyone to what is working and not working with their WAYS OF BEING. And it has different ways of bringing that out. There is a facilitator who oversees the flow of the work. There is sharing amongst those who participate in the class. There are "experiential" exercises that are set up to help participants breakthrough to new understandings of themselves and those around them. The ADVANCE course takes the insights picked up in BASIC and - over five full, consecutive days - can support a person in seeing how BEING BOLD and URGENT can begin to deliver desired results in our lives. Then, with many of the people around whom you may have done the BASIC and ADVANCE, you have three months to have awesome and measurable results show up in all domains of your life via LEADERSHIP TRAINING .

MOMENTUM has enriched my life on many fronts. The VULNERABILITY, AUTHENTICITY, and LOVE in which I created and write this blog (and subsequent website, podcasts, etc.) stems from my work in MOMENTUM. It really helped me to access these WAYS OF BEING as my core towards producing results (vs. something I can let a few people in on at select, safe, and controlling times). Prior to going through this course, my leanings may have been to stay SUPERIOR, RIGHTEOUS, PRETENTIOUS, and VANE, and then RESIGNING as I wondered why I wasn't achieving the results I wanted in my life. Now, with a newfound sense of POWER and JOY, I am navigating through life and designing a world of UPGRADES (in all domains of my life) - knowing quite honestly that those aforementioned WAYS OF BEING that don't work may pop up from time to time. But I'm now mindful to re-connect to those WAYS OF BEING that work and uplift. For example, I completed a book proposal and landed a literary agent inside of the support that MOMENTUM and the people with whom I did the work gave me. Next stop: PUBLISHED AUTHOR. A virtually non-existent relationship with my brother, five years my senior, has shifted into one where communication and LOVE show up simply because I chose to approach him and COMMUNICATE (to him. Not at him...) and to approach him in LOVE (hence the result). And CHOOSING with my soul mate Kodjoe to live life and the love we shared URGENTLY (like tomorrow wasn't promised) was the best thing we could have done for each other because TOMORROW was NOT promised as he died unexpectedly last year on Easter Sunday. And as sad and heartbroken as I am and have been over that tragic loss, I have NO REGRETS for LOVING as all that needed to be said was said and - to his last day - we got an opportunity to BE PRESENT, CONNECTED, RISK-TAKING, and ENROLLING. WHAT A BLESSING! It's really that simple, but the work of MOMENTUM is armored to shove our most paralyzing selves out of the way to get to the parts of us that can MOVE MOUNTAINS and CHANGE THE WORLD - our respective WORLDs and the world outright. And when things go wrong (because THAT'S LIFE), MOMENTUM offers ways to approach BREAKDOWNS from an EMPOWERED stance, which allows you to feel and acknowledge disappointment, but not stay there. It's been a POWERFUL piece for me.

Through MOMENTUM, I have met some awesome people, who I now consider family. I CHOOSE THEM. And they CHOOSE me. In fact, one wonderful couple, AMANDA and PETER, asked me over the summer to sing in their wedding, which took place in October here in New York City at the Tillman Chapel Church Center for the United Nations. I was honored and further thrilled that they wanted me to sing the only song that was sung at the wedding, Eva Cassidy's "Take My Breath Away". And they wanted it sung as the bride walked into the square-shaped church (via a side door) to her groom in the center of the charming space. With little-to-no rehearsal and some miscommunications with their chosen accompanist, I might have melted down at another time (pre-MOMENTUM). But I was STANDING for AMANDA and PETER to have this moment be sacred and sweet. And I'm clear now that It didn't require lots of rehearsal and pretense for that CONTEXT to show up. And I have to say the moment was inspired and just right. Including me, there wasn't a dry eye in the house as I scored her walk into the church. WHAT A PRIVILEGE! 

Afterwards, AMANDA and PETER shuttled their intimate group of guests (family and friends) from the U.N. to a cocktail reception at the tony Waldorf Astoria hotel on Park Avenue. From there, we wined, dined, and danced at the most elegant of elegant locations for a reception (or any meal): The River Cafe in Brookllyn, which sets at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge, overlooking the East River and the beautiful skyline of Downtown Manhattan in the background. JOY was being called forth from every corner of the room and from every panoramic view the windows of the restaurant offered.

I have sung in many weddings over the years (three or four a year on average for the last fifteen years). Admittedly, some of the marriages haven't made it. But I trust that AMANDA and PETER are armored with some tools --- perhaps from MOMENTUM --- that can support them to be the amazing couple-for-life that shows up in the unstoppably committed individuals that I experience them to be already. MUCH LOVE TO YOU BOTH! YOU BOTH TAKE MY BREATH AWAY. ( http://www.amandaandpeter.us/ )  

They lyrics to "TAKE MY BREATH AWAY" are:

I'm crying right now. And if someone was to call me right now, they might think I was crazy because I'm crying over the death of a soap opera character. That's right! I said it! Police Chief Hal Munson of Oakdale is dead. And all of his loved ones on "As The World Turns" found out today. And though the actor who played him for about twenty years, soap star Benjamin Hendrickson actually committed suicide at his New York home back in early July of this year, it still brought tears to my eyes. 

Though the show acknowledged the 55-year-old actor's passing at that time, they kept the character alive with minimal references until they could write it in. Hendrickson reportedly shot himself after falling into a deep depression following the cancer death of his mother. So, inside of those well-cued tears from his fellow actors, I'm certain there was an identification in their performances that came from a space of authenticity. Art imitates life and vice versa.

Saying goodbye to Hal is more to me than a favorite character gone. I grew up with Hal because my late mother, Queen Elizabeth Riley, raised my siblings (another brother and a sister) and me up on CBS Soaps - "The Young & The Restless" (now hiply called "Y&R"); "Bold & The Beautiful"; "Guiding Light"; and "As The World Turns". You could set your clock and compass by where mom and the kids would be during the windows of time that these "stories" aired (comprehensively during the summer and whatever of the line-up was left once we got out of school.). We would get our after-school snack and watch excitedly alongside mom (on her bed or on the couch in the den). Or, sometimes if she was in her room laying down, we kids would watch from the den and yell back-and-forth on the high drama that may have unfolded on that given afternoon. Perhaps something Victor Newman did on "Y&R". Or did the "Forresters" accelerate the age of another character, making us wonder how Brooke, who just gave birth last year could be attending her child's medical school graduation one year later? Unbelievable, but we still watched tangibly - as if our lives depended on it. On big cliffhanger days (Friday), we might start out watching in separate rooms, but you could rest assured we'd end up watching together as the drama unfolded and then we'd sometimes sit in silence or awe as we were left to wait a weekend to witness the conundrum resolved or delayed (as the twists and turns would sometimes leave us hanging, even on Monday). The soaps brought us much joy and those characters were and are our family and friends. As siblings who couldn't be more different - most in particular, my brother and me, we - for sure - had a jones for this programming in common. And that sometimes kept peace in the house.

 And here inside of our adult years, my siblings and I are less likely to be a daily, captive audience to "As The World Turns" or any of the soaps as we have matured and now lead busy lives - hundreds of miles away from each other. But a whoppingly empty and blue twelve years since our mom, the ringleader, passed away, we still check in with the "stories" and then with each other for updates (soap opera's first on the catch up agenda. then, if there's time, we might catch up on our real lives).

REST IN PEACE, BENJAMIN HENDRICKSON.

REST IN PEACE, HAL MUNSON.

REST IN PEACE, QUEEN ELIZABETH RILEY (MOM).