« "IT'S A NEW YEAR.... AND I'M STILL DREAMING!!!" | Main | "THE 12 DAYS (OF LIFE OF RILEY) AT CHRISTMAS" »

"AUNTIE MARY LEE"

AUNTIE MARY LEE
BY PATRICK L. RILEY
(SUBMISSION TO BE CONSIDERED FOR: Aunties: Not Just Another Mother
by INGRID STURGISS). didn't get selected for the book, but now i can share it. 




  My mom died from a heart attack on July 20, 1994. Though an arguably long, twelve years ago, I still flinch at the one-two punch that comes from using the word "mom" and any variation of the word "death" in the same sentence.
  Maybe I'm being dramatic because I'm the baby of the family and
feel that 23 years old is too young for a "mama's boy" to lose his
mom. After all, I hadn't begun to live and fulfill those dreams she
had for me - the ones she only seemed to understand, like my
insatiable need to have a career that made me happy. This, versus
the career "US News & World Report" was announcing would make me
stable in the marketplace.
  Plus, I had yet to buy her one of the cliché'd symbols of having
made it, like a house or a luxury car. And though she had a chance to
witness me receiving a nice civic award here and an industry nod there, she didn't see me win the Emmy or Grammy or Oscar or some household symbol of my profession that would go on her mantle in the home that I would have bought for her.
  Maybe I'm just trying to wrap my brain around the dose of reality
that she was only 54 when she left this earth (what a short life).
But the truth is she lived 45 more years than the doctors forecasted
when she was a child. At that time, my mom was given six months to
live as she struggled through a bout of rheumatic fever. Still, that
brings no comfort.
  Maybe my brain is fried over what seems to be a death curse in my
family. In 1974, my mom lost her own mother, who was in her early 60s when she died. My mom was 54.
   Bottom line: My mom died and it hurt like hell. And twelve years
later, it still hurts like hell.
   And unlike the close call from spring 1992 when she suffered
from congestive heart failure two weeks before my college graduation, she wasn't coming back this time.
    During that health crisis, she took ill and still managed to
recover and be in place to cheer me on at my alma mater Morehouse's
outside ceremony. That feat included a four-hour road trip from
Savannah, Georgia to Atlanta, which couldn't have been comfortable
considering her condition.
    Not only that, but the next two years seemed to give her a long lease on life. She lost lots of weight in all the right places. She began to eat more healthily. On some level, she just seemed happier and more vibrant. And never would I have anticipated another dreadful call another two years later from an intensive care unit.
   Right after that close call, Mom seemed that much more beautiful and statuesque than before the health episode. At my graduation, the sun made her hazel eyes shine that much brighter. Her multi-colored blouse-and-skirt ensemble with gold, metallic accents hung that much more flowingly off of her shapely frame. And that sheer, silky head-wrap with splashes of burnt orange - like her top,made her an even more dynamic diva than she already was. Think Maya Angelou at her most regal.
  And by mom's side stood Mary Lee. I call her Auntie Mary Lee,
mother's oldest (by two years) and only sibling.
  She was always the more understated one of the twosome. For every
strand of Mom's fiery auburn hair, there was a more conservative
blend of salt-and-pepper to Mary Lee's tresses.
  For every vocal lead my mother took in the church choir, there was a rich bottom that Mary Lee would provide on the four-part harmony.    For every pair of pants mom wore as a compliment to her heavily skirted wardrobe, there were only dresses - house and otherwise - to pad out my aunt's more mature gear.
  In my lifetime, the two sisters have been jokingly called "The
Weather Girls" or "Two Tons of Fun" when their respective weights
got the best of them. Like the glamorous disco duo - known for the
big hit "It's Raining Men," mom and Mary Lee cleaned up very well.
No matter their sizes, they really were fabulous when they sashayed
out of their homes.
  TV detectives "Cagney and Lacey" are another pair to which my
aunt and mother have been likened as they could sometimes get into
their own kind of trouble trying to locate a missing family member
or rescue a wayward cousin. I'm talking trench coats, ditches, and
flashlights. They truly had each other's back.
   From back in the day, they were "The Preacher's Daughters" or
those "Bellinger Girls" as their father was a pastor of a well-known
church in Savannah. I hear you wouldn't typically see one without the other. And when you did, they were mostly in church.
  Interestingly, they lost twenty years of being attached at the
hip, after my mom married my dad in 1958. As an Air Force man, my
father led my mother on an itinerary that included Berlin, Germany;
San Bernadino, California; and Tokyo, Japan where I was born. During
those twenty-plus years of travel with three kids to boot (my two
older siblings), my Auntie Mary Lee would hold the fort in Savannah,
looking after their parents, raising her own two kids, and managing
a marriage of her own.
   But when Dad retired from the military in the late 1970s, Mary
Lee got her sister back. Mom and Dad chose their childhood home Savannah as the place where we - as a family - would settle down.
   For the next three years, my mom and Mary Lee tag teamed on
keeping their father fed and fit. At this time, my grandfather was a
retired preacher and widower, who had suffered a stroke and was
living in a nursing home. With my mom again by her side, my aunt
visited Granddaddy and took him hot, home-cooked meals everyday. He
wouldn't eat the food that the health care facility provided.
   This daunting arrangement gave my mom the opportunity to pay her
sister back for the many times Mary Lee was left to care for Grand- daddy on her own, including the time when their mother had fallen ill. Mom was raising us in California.
   Also, Auntie Mary Lee had a heart attack herself in the mid-70s.
She didn't want anyone to tell my mother until she got better. My
mom was thousands of miles away on the West Coast and she didn't
want to worry her so soon after their mom's passing. As a result,
Mom wasn't around to help much during her recovery.
  I guess Auntie Mary Lee is a typical "older sibling". She didn't
want anyone to worry and very often put herself and her needs last.
Perhaps I was drawn to her as a child for those reasons, much like
I'm probably drawn to my own "oldest sibling" Janice. She has a knack for putting other's first, especially those "youngest kids" in her life (not just me).
  My aunt was a wonderful compliment to my mom's more direct, in-your-face brand of parenting, no doubt rooted in her being the bratty, outspoken baby in her own clan.
  Sans the neck roll or lip flap my sassy mom might toss at you
before she would step foot into the kitchen, Auntie Mary Lee was
always more than willing to prepare any range of dishes for us. From
pork 'n beans to the all-out soul food smorgasbord with sweet tea,
and lemon for kicks, she cooked to order.
   With Mom, sometimes we had to constantly badger her to purchase
the things we "wanted" versus what might have been on sale; Mary Lee's cookie jar always had one of my many favorite brands of cookies in it - namely the flower-shaped ones that have BUTTER inscribed simply on the packaging. Incidentally, the cookies that came out of her cookie jar just tasted better.
   And without having to bring home straight A's, my aunt would
always call me "the professor". To her, the fact that I was reading anything made me smart. Granted, I wasn't always reading Langston or
Shakespeare. Sometimes, it was a teen rag magazine, but somehow she
always identified my love of reading with being the smartest kid on the block. Surely, Auntie Mary Lee's simple philosophy worked for me as it came with less an onus than the one I had to adopt in my own household, where pats on the back didn't come as effortlessly. It was always nice to have the option to not have to try as hard to impress when I visited my enabling aunt.
  I just loved having a mother and an aunt, who were so similar,
yet so different. And without mom here, that balance is gone. I not
only feel a huge sadness for myself - a pity I've taken to Jesus and
a therapist.
  But Auntie Mary Lee must be dealing with an even more intense grief. I mean, my mom is someone she's known all her life.
  Though they haven't always been geographically in the same city,
they have always been close. When they were in the same city, they
were road-dogs. And whatever time they didn't spend together
physically was off set with the telephone. Auntie Mary Lee would
call mom everyday at 5 o'clock. And though mom would sometimes
cavalierly receive the call, she'd panic if it didn't come.
  "I haven't heard from my sister today," she'd say. "Patrick! Call
Mary Lee and make sure she's okay."
  I find myself similarly impacted when my own (and only) sister
calls on the dime with nothing to say. But let that call not come,
I'm on the wire trying to reach out to her and find out why I didn't
hear from her. This, my aunt has no more.
   And as the last person living and breathing from her immediate family, she's got to be in a really sad place right now.
  "Mary Lee is your mama now," my aunt's current husband Lloyd once
said. "You won't be without a mama because Mary Lee is here."
  When he spoke this, I respectfully nodded without any words, even though my instinct was stabbing me in my gut that this is not the case, for me at least. The reality is there will never be a replacement for my mother. She provided me a brand of love that no one can duplicate.
  And chances are the sadness I continue to feel will always linger
near, even if time has allowed me a few more moments of laughter and
bliss.
   Still, on those moments when I venture back to Savannah from my
new home New York City, I can go and visit my sweet Auntie Mary Lee.
  No, she's not my mom. But she's a bittersweet reminder of the
good stock, which bred my mother.
  And whenever my Auntie Mary Lee and I come together, I feel a nostalgic glimmer of the comfort I felt as a child -- with each meal, with each cookie, and with each compliment.
  I flinch again at the thought of life without her.

POST SCRIPT: Uncle Lloyd died earlier this year. Auntie Mary Lee is still hanging in there. She was so gracious to prepare my favorite dishes, including cornbread dressing, for the Christmas meal, even though she wasn't feeling her best with osteoarthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, and other pars for the course of aging. She's still funny, bright, sharp, and on top of all that goes on in our family.

Posted on Friday, December 29, 2006 at 03:33PM by Registered CommenterTHE LIFE OF RILEY in | CommentsPost a Comment | References151 References

References (151)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    Response: Colomarine 90 post
    all about Colomarine and top news
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Pamala anderson getting fucked ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Filipino asian plastic surgery ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Joggs movie big daily free ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Girl girl kissing myspace.com site ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Anderson fingering herself pamala ...
  • Response
    Response: Baby crib red
    I'm agree with you, i think... Baby crib red ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Air injection nozzle ...
  • Response
    Response: Tylar jacobs
    I'm agree with you, i think... Tylar jacobs ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Fountains of wayne stacys mom tab ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Rio hotel casino las vegas ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Crossdresser new jersey ...
  • Response
    Response: Swingers in dc
    I'm agree with you, i think... Swingers in dc ...
  • Response
    Response: Integral sink
    I'm agree with you, i think... Integral sink ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Sex uk co cam babes wired web ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Sexual petting techniques ...
  • Response
    Response: Sexual healing mp3
    I'm agree with you, i think... Sexual healing mp3 ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Escort in independent uk ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Address email set up ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Dalton georgia carpet outlet ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Nude fake pfeiffer michelle ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Stocks pillory dildo ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Adrianne curry hot tub ...
  • Response
    Response: Teacher reference
    I'm agree with you, i think... Teacher reference ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Drug abuse treatment for teen ...
  • Response
    Response: In tampa sr20det
    I'm agree with you, i think... In tampa sr20det ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Me fuck wont she afroman let ...
  • Response
    Response: Misty nude picture
    I'm agree with you, i think... Misty nude picture ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Mckay sarenna lee sunny ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... J jj jjj tgp thumbnail gallery post ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Art coordinate grid ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Free nude pic of milla jovovich ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Free mature porn video ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... My cock suck grandma it suck ohhhh ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Ron delsener enterprises ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Milk filled huge tit ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Associated british foods ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Locksmith phoenix az ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Atlantis underwater cameras ...
  • Response
    Response: Ron dibble fired
    I'm agree with you, i think... Ron dibble fired ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Ancient egypt 712 332 ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Boy jacking off pic ...
  • Response
    Response: Ancient incan art
    I'm agree with you, i think... Ancient incan art ...
  • Response
    I'm agree with you, i think... Little girl shitting ...
  • Response
    Response: Central milan
    I'm agree with you, i think... Central milan ...
  • Response
    8f451ee9425f
  • Response
    com Makeover games for girls com ...
  • Response
    texas Sex shops in laredo texas ...
  • Response
    photos Www malayalam school girls sex photos ...
  • Response
    Response: Ftv girls ivana
    ivana Ftv girls ivana ...
  • Response
    boobies Rate my lactating boobies ...
  • Response
    pictures Southindia masala girl pictures ...
  • Response
    download Ichigo milk movie free download ...
  • Response
    girls Nude czechoslovakian girls ...
  • Response
    Response: Peep com
    com Peep com ...
  • Response
    before Breast augmentation ddd before ...
  • Response
    bengali Indian porn bengali ...
  • Response
    online Charge download free hentai movie no no online ...
  • Response
    gallery Puffy nipple gallery ...
  • Response
    wee Jackie duke pee wee ...
  • Response
    contest Makos orlando bikini contest ...
  • Response
    stories Female ballbusting stories ...
  • Response
    girls Sweet beginnings flower girls ...
  • Response
    Response: Ass smackin
    smackin Ass smackin ...
  • Response
    steam Engine g gauge live model steam ...
  • Response
    teen Diaper girl groups msn com site teen ...
  • Response
    Response: Stubby butt lures
    lures Stubby butt lures ...
  • Response
    Response: Mizzou girls
    girls Mizzou girls ...
  • Response
    cucumber Lesbian with a cucumber ...
  • Response
    Response: Hairdressers nude
    nude Hairdressers nude ...
  • Response
    mannequin Airwaves into jacks mannequin ...
  • Response
    web Cam sexy wannabe web ...
  • Response
    relationship Healthy teen dating relationship ...
  • Response
    Response: Lilly thai nude
    nude Lilly thai nude ...
  • Response
    nude Diane gallery kruger nude ...
  • Response
    Response: Matthew rush nude
    nude Matthew rush nude ...
  • Response
    you Bowling for soup i melt with you ...
  • Response
    teen Cum dripping info remember teen ...
  • Response
    masturbation Leotard and tights masturbation ...
  • Response
    Response: Bbw tampa dance
    dance Bbw tampa dance ...
  • Response
    Response: Alley baggett fuck
    fuck Alley baggett fuck ...
  • Response
    darkly Phillip k dick a scanner darkly ...
  • Response
    bodtbuilders Proffessional naked women bodtbuilders ...
  • Response
    titans Blackfire from teen titans ...
  • Response
    Response: Gat porn
    porn Gat porn ...
  • Response
    Response: Fresno swinger
    swinger Fresno swinger ...
  • Response
    Response: Peeing mania com
    com Peeing mania com ...
  • Response
    clip Nadia comaneci video clip ...
  • Response
    Response: Shelby bell sex
    sex Shelby bell sex ...
  • Response
    fakes Maria sharapova nude fakes ...
  • Response
    Response: Gay loveland ohio
    ohio Gay loveland ohio ...
  • Response
    Response: Anubis female
    female Anubis female ...
  • Response
    picture Donna leblanc nude picture ...
  • Response
    Response: Jane fonda playboy
    playboy Jane fonda playboy ...
  • Response
    Response: Inuyasha nude pic
    pic Inuyasha nude pic ...
  • Response
    clips Jenna haze sex clips ...
  • Response
    victoria Nude picture silvstedt victoria ...
  • Response
    Response: Buy viagra online.
    Free viagra sample. Buy viagra online. Viagra. Cheap viagra. Buy viagra. By mail sale viagra.
  • Response
    naked Anjelina jolie naked ...
  • Response
    massage Dubai erotic massage ...
  • Response
    playboy Vanna white in playboy ...
  • Response
    Response: Sex taoism
    taoism Sex taoism ...
  • Response
    lynn Classic porn ginger lynn ...
  • Response
    sydney Hot moon naked sydney ...
  • Response
    size Normal clitoris size ...
  • Response
    sherbrooke Adult chat sherbrooke ...
  • Response
    story Cuckold duty husband story ...
  • Response
    workshop Fruit model rotation spirit workshop ...
  • Response
    pic Nipple pinching pic ...
  • Response
    angeles Petite models los angeles ...
  • Response
    slips Troys top ten celebrity nip slips ...
  • Response
    swinger Carolina club south swinger ...
  • Response
    reproduction Meiosis important for sexual reproduction ...
  • Response
    Response: Jigle butts
    butts Jigle butts ...
  • Response
    integration Enterprise application integration ...
  • Response
    hermaphrodite Horny hermaphrodite ...
  • Response
    bedding Pink and black teen bedding ...
  • Response
    kerala Sex actress photo kerala ...
  • Response
    american Dragon models usa cody african american ...
  • Response
    mp3 Eminem ass like that mp3 ...
  • Response
    Response: Dick fucker
    fucker Dick fucker ...
  • Response
    Response: Drunk tittys
    tittys Drunk tittys ...
  • Response
    Response: Hot preston zone
    zone Hot preston zone ...
  • Response
    Response: Slosh models
    models Slosh models ...
  • Response
    Response: Bj shea
    shea Bj shea ...
  • Response
    tits Jewel kilcher in quick pic booth showing tits ...
  • Response
    Response: Lickers mature
    mature Lickers mature ...
  • Response
    virgin Erotic sacrifice story virgin ...
  • Response
    free Gauge porn star free ...
  • Response
    kit Nude female resin kit ...
  • Response
    margolis Naked cindy margolis ...
  • Response
    augmentation Subglandular breast augmentation ...
  • Response
    florida Girls live streaming webcams florida ...
  • Response
    independent Tokyo escort independent ...
  • Response
    Response: Tope model
    model Tope model ...
  • Response
    male Female milking male ...
  • Response
    anus Picture of the male anus ...
  • Response
    Response: Sexy taylor twins
    twins Sexy taylor twins ...
  • Response
    picture Fake hingis martina nude picture ...
  • Response
    Response: Make a sexy toga
    toga Make a sexy toga ...
  • Response
    com Big d and the kid table site myspace com ...
  • Response
    fucking Jenna von oy fucking ...
  • Response
    rappers Black female rappers ...
  • Response
    Response: Kaviar amateur dvd
    dvd Kaviar amateur dvd ...
  • Response
    Response: Android 18 porno
    Android 18 porno
  • Response
    Canadain vintage motorcycle group swap meet
  • Response
    Anime sisters licking
  • Response
    Acorn worm iodine shrimp
  • Response
    2000 ford escort zx2 coupe
  • Response
    Response: Anime comic lilim
    Anime comic lilim
  • Response
    Response: Anal cadillac rita
    Anal cadillac rita

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.