A DAY IN "THE LIFE OF RILEY"

My friend and co-Chair of the National Association of Black Journalists' Arts & Entertainment Task Force, Greg Dunmore is in town through the month. We've had a chance to hang out a little since he's been here. One night, while having a late night snack at the Hard Rock Cafe - Times Square (http://www.hardrock.com/), he asked me if I saw Village Voice columnist Michael Musto's reference to me. Well, not me BY NAME, but me... (www.villagevoice.com)

Basically, Michael writes of the pitfalls that comes with "... trying to be famous..." and the drag that it can be on the journey of  being "HOT" then "NOT" or - in his case - aiming to do something on TV; get the opportunities to be considered -- only to have those opportunities not picked up or not successful. It's his story. It sounds a lot like my own story. And there is a collective story that Michael and I share. That's what he chronicles in his column this week. He writes: "Next up—no, I wouldn't quit—I was asked to be in a pilot for a gay version of The View as done by the delicate wallflowers who brought you Hard Copy. This was back when the success of Queer Eye made producers feel every single thing ever televised had to have a gay angle. A women's show? Make it with all gay men! Duh!

"Gay guys are like women," a producer explained to me in a preliminary meeting. "They listen to your problems, and they're very sensitive." I made a very sensitive retching face. Clearly, these people hadn't realized it's lesbians who are like women.

"Look, the show won't be all mammograms and mascara," chimed in a production assistant. Too bad—I'd love a show about mammograms and mascara. But before I could react, the same guy turned to the head producer and excitedly wondered, "Hey, would it be good if we got a black host?" "Yes!" crowed the boss, as if he'd just freed the slaves. Great, maybe the host can even dance!

I am the BLACK MAN to whom he is referring. Through my talent agency (at the time) ICM and talent agent Helen, I got the call in 2004 to meet with the executives at Hurricane Productions to be considered as one of the hosts on this show. When I met with them, I remember a moment where the Executive Producer asked me "Which of THE VIEW women do you most identify with?". Remember, at this time, the panel was a quorom: MEREDITH VIEIRA; STAR JONES REYNOLDS; BARBARA WALTERS; JOY BEHAR; and ELIZABETH HASSELBECK. Here, I knew I had the freedom to debunk anybody's unsaid idea that I was here to be "STAR JONES" because I felt I was more "MEREDITH VIEIRA" -  a legitimate journalist who can steer a conversation towards levity or seriousness, and additionally not be afraid to make a fool of myself. After I answered "MEREDITH" - hoping I didn't just screw up my chances for this awesome opportunity because I didn't align with Black, the executive producer turned a sign around that had my picture on it and "OUR MEREDITH" underneath it. TALK ABOUT SYNERGY, HUH????

Michael Musto continues in his "Village Voice" column:

  For the panel, they ended up assembling me, FRANK DECARO, SIMON DOONAN, a hottie, and a black person.

Well, I am black - so I don't think - per se - there's a need for me to be offended at the nameless racial reference. After all, I enjoyed my time with Michael and found him to be quite pleasant. Perhaps he doesn't remember my name? Maybe, he's making a point about the executives and the process. Not sure.

Michael continues:

There was no host. We shot the pilot in front of an audience that looked like Death Row inmates on their day off, but at least they didn't throw things. We dutifully covered women's diets, recipes, and children's car safety, but the producer lady was getting nervous about our performances. Sidling up to us, she murmured, "Guys, I need you to be more . . . more . . ." "Say it," urged Doonan, as if watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tense pause. "Be more faggy!" she blurted, her face turning a fabulous shade of fuchsia. Shock waves went through the studio. So this was a total minstrel show, and I was being counted on to be a big-fag Stepin Fetchit? After years of being told to tone it down, it was sort of refreshing to finally have someone say, "Be gayer, queen!" But a stereotype is still a stereotype, and I was actually relieved when the pilot wasn't picked up, no one buying the idea that gay men are really like women. That freed me to work on my new pitch: Jew Talk.

No! We didn't get picked up! But it was a great opportunity and I think we got some good tape out of it. It tops my reel along with my other spot on-camera work towards my BIG GET:

http://216.117.188.141/PRiley/PRileyGeneralReel.wmv

Meanwhile, my dear and supportive friend Greg wants to call Michael Musto and give him a piece of his mind. "You've got a name and a stellar reputation in this business," Greg exclaims. "I want to let him know it!" And though I'm still  not sure if Michael just didn't remember my name or preferred to do the "black man" schtick for effect. I'll hold him high for any of the aforementioned, non-nefarious options. Plus, as Greg, my "N" stylist/friend Jamar, and another buddy Ryan hung out last night (at Jay Z's club 40/40 for Bleu Magazine Publisher Devon Christopher's birthday party - www.thebleumag.com), Devon introduced me to a young lady named Jillian. Sweet woman! As Devon brought her over to me, he says "Patrick! You've got to send Jillian the link to your blog! She would love it!". He continued to Jillian "Patrick writes this amazing blog and he is a producer and personality in pop culture and entertainment. People really do listen to what he has to say!!!!" And here on the week that "The View" has announced its new host Miss Whoopi Goldberg - who happens to be "Black" - I thought to myself, "People really do listen to me. Sometimes, though, they just don't remember my name".