A DAY IN "THE LIFE OF RILEY"

Well, 2008 is here… but it took two weeks of highs and lows for me to get here! But “Dear God, I’m here!!!!! I’m here!!!!”

On Saturday, December 22, 2007, I left all my New York City ways behind and headed to Atlanta. Always hungry when I touchdown and always excited to check off my Atlanta staples, my cousin Floyd and I high-tailed it to R. Thomas Restaurant ( www.rthomasdeluxegrill.com/ ), the healthy, 24-hour spot I used to frequent (as it was just around the corner from my Buckhead apartment when I lived down south in the early-to-mid-‘90s). I like the organic chicken wings and breakfast dishes (eggs, bacon, home fries). I re-connected to my 20-something digestive track when I experienced the wings so spicy. (I’ve become spicy-intolerant in recent years). Just the same, I ate, enjoyed, and walked down memory lane – narrating to my cousin Floyd all the times I remembered in this watering hole (dates with women…and eventually… men, I shared as my cousin wondered if I’d share that tid-bit in the blog. Well, here it is!!!).

If I’d made it to Atlanta a little earlier, I might have gotten to see the staging of a musical that’s very special to me. It’s “The Wiz”!!! The Rialto is where it’s running ( www.rialtocenter.org/ ). And my friend and mentor Kenny Leon’s theater True Colors is putting it on ( www.truecolorstheatrecompany.com/thewiz.html ). My good girlfriend Chandra attended and says she enjoyed it. Like “Dreamgirls”, any incarnation of “The Wiz” is alright with me, which is why I’m ecstatic that the 30^th Anniversary Edition of the film – starring Diana Ross – is coming out February 8^th ( www.amazon.com/Wiz-30th-Anniversary-Mariann-Aalda/dp/B000XUOLNO ). I CAN’T WAIT! And how great would it be for there to be a DVD premiere in New York City where Diana and Michael can ‘ease on down the road’ (a red carpet… or better yet… gold) one more time. It will be magical!!!!

After Floyd’s and my late-night bite, he took me to Tucker (outside Atlanta) to hook-up with my childhood friend, New-Jersey-based Ernest (also in town for the holidays) and our good girlfriend Carla who I’ve referenced in the blog before: (http://thelifeofriley.squarespace.com/rilys-blog/2007/9/19/waiting-in-the-wings-dreaming-along-the-way.html). They – along with their former co-worker and dear friend Thelma – were awaiting my arrival at the Atlanta Fun Center (www. bowling200.com/bowlingcenters/atlanta.html ). In addition to bowling, arcade games, drinks, and food, there was karaoke. And though I was on the back end of a cold, Carla and company wanted songs out of me. I concurred and performed three well-received numbers Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Work”; “Family” (from “Dreamgirls”); and my Diana’s “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”. One guy named Ty (short for Tyrone) came up to me after my first performance to see if I was interested in recording some material in his home studio. I didn’t know if it was a pick-up line or – quite simply – a compliment. But in the spirit of the evening, it was a welcome approach. We all partook of margaritas and wings (likely not organic a la R. Thomas, but they were tasty). And before all was said and done, we were dancing to the interlude house music the DJ was playing when folks weren’t karaoke-ing. This was quite the launch party!

On Sunday, September 23, 2007, Ern, Carla, and I got together for breakfast with one of my “Amazing Graces” Chandra, who hosts at “Thumbs Up” Diner on the weekends (www.thumbsupdiner.com). She was sporting her new, Rhianna-inspired do and – as always – I’m happy to see Chandra. This time, I got to see her brother Calvin, who now lives in Atlanta, and his friend. The folks who work at “Thumbs Up” are always happy to see me because Chandra speaks so fondly of me. But I’m usually happiest to see them because the food is off-the-charts good. From the fried catfish to the cheese grits to the home fries to the extra-crispy bacon, both of my ‘thumbs’ are ‘up’ when I eat their fresh and tasty, southern cuisine. Additionally, when Chandra got a break, we got the chance to catch up on her and where she is now. It’s always something new. She’s appraising homes, working with a clothing design company, hosting at “Thumbs Up”, and launching her own clothing line for full-figured women (on the heels of a degree she recently got from an Atlanta-based, design school). Chandra – always – goes for hers!!! And I love that about her!

After brunch, we went by the Atlantic Station Target ( www.atlanticstation.com/ ) before heading back to Tucker to see their friend Thelma one more time. Over wine, we watched “Dreamgirls” and “The Mummy” on HBO before Ern and I got a tour of her digs. The tour included two beautiful pieces by the fine, African American artist Paul Goodnight ( www.thecollectionshop.com/Paul_Goodnight_Art_Collection.asp ) who is a distant cousin of my other “Amazing Grace” Lisa. I took a picture of one piece, “Hands on their Hips”, and called Lisa (in Maryland) to alert her of my finding. This chat gave us a chance to reconnect in the spirit of the holidays. It was great to see Lisa a couple of times during the last quarter of last year as we had a couple of weddings to attend. Plus, she finally got to meet Anthony.

That night, cousin Floyd was on standby to take me to visit my “original Amazing Grace” Natalie and her family. Her little girls Lydia and Hannah have grown so much and had lovely gifts for me (as I did them). It was lovely to see them all again. Additionally, I got to see Elise, yet another of my ‘Amazing Graces’ (and her family). She and I worked together years ago for “Good Day Atlanta”, but have maintained a special and close bond since we have both gone on to new places – geographically and career-wise. We talked the night away as she prepared her Christmas meal. Afterwards, Floyd took me to get one of my Atlanta (Southern) staples Krystal ( www.krystal.com/ ) – which is not available to me here in New York City (nor Jersey), though we do have White Castle ( www.whitecastle.com/ ). I love the burgers, the little corn dogs (known as “corn pups”), the little chili dogs (known as “chili pups”), and the chicken sandwiches. Oh! And don’t forget my favorite Atlanta staple of all: SWEET TEA!!!!

CHRISTMAS EVE presented loss and gains in my world. After my sister and I visited her best high school friend Lisa and her two little boys, we got on the road for Savannah at which time I got the news that Tom Morgan, first openly gay President of the National Association of Black Journalists (www.nabj.org) died of a heart attack, after living with HIV/AIDS for about 20 years. Additionally, he was the President when I joined NABJ as a student internship winner back in 1991. I was asked to send some words – so from my blackberry, I wrote the following: In 2000 at NABJ (Phoenix), I had the privilege of paying tribute in song to the Founders and Presidents of NABJ. Tom was there—front and center. At a point during my rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings," I left the stage and came into the audience to shake some of their hands and thank them face to face without the distraction of the stagelights. Of course, there was Sidmel [Estes-Sumpter], one of my first bosses in the business. There was Vanessa Williams, whose invitation for me to sing the year prior availed me this opportunity to pay homage one year later for this special occasion. I even got a glimpse of mentor and former NABJ VP-Broadcast Sheila Stainback, whose support of me since being one of the NABJ babies in 1991 has been unyielding.
But then I approached Tom —to ensure he received and felt my THANKS for all he was to me. The song's lyric was landing on ". . . Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be . . ." I recall getting choked up as his eyes began to well. I know he got it.
I would be able to recall that moment with him last year. I shared with him that during his term, I was a college senior —not yet out of the closet — and internally tortured as to how I would marry my truth to my career. I admired the sterling example that he set for us all and knew that one day I would be courageous enough to live out loud— with integrity and grace. Six or so years later, I did and continue to look at Tom's model for how I navigate throughout this industry. And I am blessed that I got the chance to share all of this and more with Tom (who told me he always knew. SMILE!). For sure, I "Thank God for (Tom), The Wind Beneath my Wings."
Patrick Riley
New York

( http://www.maynardije.org )

As I wrote some of this in the passenger’s side of my sister’s ride, the Gospel radio station my sister tunes began to play The Commodores’ “Jesus Is Love”, the song that played as my sister, her now-husband, and I drove into Savannah the four or so hours after receiving the news that our mother had passed away. The song proved sad yet consoling. Then (1994) and now. But there wouldn’t be lots of time for sadness as my nephew immediately picked us up and took us to to the home of my cousin Kejuanna and her husband Andrew, who I hosted in New York City a few months ago (http://thelifeofriley.squarespace.com/rilys-blog/2007/10/5/its-taught-me-to-love-so-its-real.html). We thought we were celebrating her birthday (which is Christmas Eve) and the holidays, but she had something else in mind. She handed everyone a greeting card which – at closer inspection – included a sonogram of a seven-week-old fetus – slated “BABY SINGLETON”. I think their trip to New York (followed by Bermuda) did the trick. We were all excited at the prospect of another baby coming into the family by next Christmas.

CHRISTMAS DAY was all about family. My sister and I stayed with Dad and his wife Diana at our childhood home. We awoke to breakfast that Diana lovingly prepared. We exchanged and opened all of our gifts. Then, we got dressed to join our extended families for fellowship and dinner. My cousin Felecia holds down our mother’s side of the family at her place. As always, we have a great time – catching up (including not one, but two babies that the family is expecting a la my little cousin Dee Dee who is expecting as well. I sang at she and her husband’s wedding in October 2006); I interview new boyfriends and girlfriends in the family. There were two to depose – including cousin Kea’s fiancé. (We always have fun placing these folks’ significant others in the hot seat). My mom’s sister Mary Lee was also in attendance and stretched herself to make sure our special dishes (cornbread dressing, red rice, potato salad, etc.) were available. Afterwards, we segued to THE RILEYs – Dad’s people. We hung out at my cousin Veronica’s place for what would be more eating (My other favorite Aunt Goldie prepared “chit’lins” for me – another strictly Savannah staple for me). Before all could be said and done, I ended up having to sing for the family (a cappella). From my mother’s favorite Gospel songs to my own (to some requests), I ended up performing a virtual concert. Additionally, my extremely talented cousin Harriet graced us with several songs that brought joy and light to our family. We had a ‘country good time’!!!!

On Wednesday, December 26, 2007, my sister and I slept in late before we had breakfast. Dad and I spent quality time at the breakfast table (after the meal) – comparing our digital cameras and their functions. I get my love of pictures from my father. From there, my sister and I got ourselves dressed to have our nephew, Noot, take us to the mall. (He’s now a sophomore at Morehouse as I’ve referenced before… and now as he gets older, he’s the one who we now wait for get around and get things done. Oh, how the tables turn). My sister and I have a tradition where we both go shopping for the Christmas sweater she wants to buy me. I choose. We get it on her budget. It’s not ugly. Then, I’m happy. We didn’t shop Savannah-specific this go around. We went to Macy’s ( www.macys.com ) at the Oglethorpe Mall ( www.oglethorpemall.com/ ). With that, came sightings of blasts from our past: my 7^th grade Science teacher Mrs. Wilkerson and dear old friend Jacquel. I even ran into another dear friend from high school, Celio.

Since this time, word has spread about that my middle-school/high-school/college/some-adult-years girlfriend Rachel lost her father Roy Allen. I didn’t come out (to myself much less the world) before we parted ways twelve years ago. On the heels of our break-up, I did date a woman or two. But mostly, I got clear with what was going on inside of me and decided to face it. Now, a decade-plus later, I am standing in my truth. But the LOVE I have for Rachel – though not a romantic love – remains and hearing of this loss has touched me, especially given she was such a support for me when I lost my mother in 1994. The challenge is I didn’t know how to contact her (until my Dad’s wife gave me a number this morning). I’ve reached out and left a voice mail. I hope I’ll hear from her and get to talk to her before all is said and done. When my family and I first moved to Savannah in the late ‘70s, her father was a beacon of light for Blacks as a leader in politics and the law. And though Rachel often shared what her perspective on the attention was, she adored him and appreciated the access she (and often we) got because of his notoriety. Like most anything, nothing lasts for ever. And Roy would struggle through many of his last twenty years, but it’s here, I’ll remember the pieces of his life that inspired. And for Rachel, I offer that there are ‘new ways’, but ‘love stays’.

On this post-Christmas night, my cousin Felecia hosted a take-two get-together at her home. The theme was “Kennedy Center Honors” featuring Diana Ross (www. alpha.cbs.com/specials/kennedy_2007/ ). It was a special to behold:

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E0bMGJNJXo

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0u3D-y5V_A

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DScsAt8vInA

Many of the same folks who were gathered for Diana’s night recalled the evening in 1991 when my mother hosted our “Kennedy Center Honors” party to see me and the Morehouse College Glee Club ( www.mcgclub.com/ ) as we performed for Robert Shaw of Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and Chorus fame. You’ll recall, we performed “Bethelehemu” – the Nigerian Christmas song which can be seen --- with a younger roster --- on YOUTUBE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02UtdGeEudo). Interestingly, just within days before this network special, I ran into a “blast from the past” of the Morehouse College Glee Club. His name is Claude Jay (Jones), class of ’76. Before my time, but you couldn’t tell it. That’s why when we met at a holiday party through my good friend Lenn who co-owns my favorite boutique N (www. nharlemnewyork.com/ ), the name didn’t ring a bell. But after we shared more about each other, including his fabulous website – a souvenir and fashion product line (www.HarlemMyLove.com), I learned that this business grew out of his singing career in Japan. On the site, there are a couple songs that he wrote and recorded (Music page). With that, he learned singing was also a sidelight of mine and – further – he learned through checking out my BLOG that I was a Morehouse man. Then, he shared that he was a member of the Morehouse College Glee Club, but more than that, he was the first one to hold the office of Public Relations Manager at the same time he served as Secretary. One of his tasks was to write the Glee Club history. Additionally, he crafted The Morehouse Glee Club Motto: "The Morehouse Glee Club is an eminent expression of brotherhood, a united force of dedication and commitment and an unselfish labor of love" Claude Jay (Jones), '76 I have spoken his words so many times. And seen his by-line that much more. Still, though his name may have rung a bell, I refused to think that someone who looked so young is such an integral part of my Morehouse history. But there it was and there he is. I was able to share with him some of my Morehouse highlights – including The Kennedy Center Honors… and I was even able to give him the links to the special as he missed the Diana Ross portion. Moreover, he complimented my vocals from a link I shared with him of one of my recent performances. That meant so much as I am standing on his shoulders.

And speaking of shoulders, I felt like this DIANA ROSS tribute is – for sure – one of which Luther Vandross would have wanted to be a part. He may not have been there, but his best, childhood friend Fonzi Thornton was – as one of the background singers during Diana’s tribute. I thought that was kismet. You’ll recall, Fonzi inspired my LUTHER VANDROSS tribute in UneQ Magazine ( www.uneqmagazine.com/ ) - http://thelifeofriley.squarespace.com/rilys-blog/2007/2/25/we-are-luther-please-reply-by-march-12.html.

On the heels of the show, we enjoyed a few rounds of GUESSTURES and called it a night – knowing how blessed we all are to be able to see each other JOYFULLY one more time.

On Thursday, December 27, 2007, my sister and I got on the road – leaving Savannah for Atlanta. I had one more night to enjoy Atlanta. Of course, I had to stop by BULLDOGS where the black gay boys hang out on most any night. But I had other stops to make during my night back in the state’s capital and I’m always amazed at the people I see. Firstly, as the pop culture goes, I ran into the Brittenum Twins –Terrell and Derrell (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHSE5ztGWJI) – who say they are working on new music. Then, my New York-based friend Craig and another buddy of his Darnell (who I know through Jason and Marqice) were stuck in Atlanta on a lay-over (en route to somewhere tropical and fabulous). Additionally, I ran into my college bud Michael K. Watts who lives in New York City now (but we like to get ATL time in as well). And my Morehouse brother Welborn Preston made sure I got back to my sister’s Lithonia home on this night. Though I’d had a nice time in Savannah, I did grow a bit blue – being away from Ant (who was in Denver) and conjuring some of the depression that can just take a hold of me during holidays (thinking of mom and such). This night in Atlanta, however, got me back in my good mood. And I’m grateful for Atlanta’s magic touch. Oh! And back to Bulldogs for one second. You know Janet Jackson’s new FEEDBACK was pumping loud and hard… and the kids were LOVING IT!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUiMezK8sxs). And we hear she’s just shot the video in New York City last week. Will be great to see Miss Jackson back on the block!

Oh! Lenn and Larry reminded me of a DIVA named “Moi Renee” whose appeal to the cross-dressing masses predates “Rupaul” and “Kevin Aviance”. According to them, she used to host many sets and even recorded big club hits in the ‘90s. She (He) is not with us anymore, but their description of her has me intrigued. Anybody know anything out there about “Moi Renee”? Do tell… Being in the Atlanta club reminded me of that.

On Friday, December 28, 2007, I made it back to New York City in time to hang out with my friend Jamar (from “N” – www.nharlemnewyork.com) and his buddy Chucky (a dancer for Monica and many others – including – hopefully – Janet when she expands on her dance troop for international tour). We met up with my “Amazing Grace” Nichole and her good friend Dr. Sonjia at Maroon’s Restaurant (www. maroonsnyc.com/ ). Dr. Sonjia, my Scorpio sister, is one of Nichole's friends (a la Brooklyn) from back in the day, but she is now splitting her time -- as well-known sex educator and therapist -- between the Cayman Islands and Miami.  Her health promotions company, Dignified Health Solutions (DHS, Ltd.), provides academic, professional, and sexology consulting services (www.drkenya.com). After some light bites of catfish fingers, fried wings, and crab cake (and – of course – rum punch), I proceeded to pick Anthony up from the airport. I was so happy to have him back as he said he was to be here. We truly had a lovely reunion back at home.

On Saturday, December 29, 2007, my late, great mom’s birthday, Anthony and I weren’t able to sleep in. He had to style me in two ensembles for my shoot at “N” (www.nharlemnewyork.com). I booked a spot gig “on-camera” to do two “geek-to-chic” makeover’s for AT&T Tech Channel’s “Hugh Thompson Show” (www. techchannel.att.com/ ). I’ll save full-out details for the show itself, but as these behind-the-scenes pictures show, we had a great time – transforming a couple of lovely people in the technical sciences into “fashionistas” and/or “fashionistos” not only for the day but for their return to the office. We tape the studio segments later in January and this is all a part of my WHAT’S NEXT IN 2008????? Already, things are happening! STAY TUNED!

Sunday, December 30, 2007, Ant and I went to my good girlfriend (with whom I share a birthdate) Robin and her son Zach’s house for a holiday open house. As she was first instrumental in making me feel like I had a family away from my family, it’s always a total honor to connect with her and all those we have in common. Like a Romper Room roll call, there was Katti Gray (my sister). There was Patrik Henry Bass (the other Patrick, I call him – author and Books Editor for ESSENCE - www.essence.com/ ). My mentor (who I referenced in the Tom Morgan tribute) Sheila Stainback was in the house with her son Master Charles. Mostly all of us got the chance to know the aforementioned Tom Morgan. So, it was nice to see our 'family' and wrap our arms around each other. And Ant and I got to meet some other great folks – including Stephanie AKA “Mama Hotness” who we were inspiring to get her MY SPACE page up and running with that nomenclature attached. Afterwards, Ant and I joined Nichole and Dr. Sonjia at my friend Brian’s Harlem bistro “Native”. There, we laughed and snacked on little appetizers. We also saw some folks we hadn’t seen in a minute, like our friend Dard, whose Victorian, Harlem Brownstone was used as the set for Jill Scott’s new album, “The Real Thing” (nominated for 3 Grammys). But at a closer view, you see that Dard is actually the man in the background of the picture. Talk about WIN-WIN for those producers.

On New Year’s Eve, we got an invite via my Saturday producer Suzanne’s friend (or “Big Willie” – as I call them) Stewart who – along with his partner Dale – was throwing a party at the Lowell’s hotel on the upper-eastside of Manhattan ( www.uppereast.com ). My Detroit buddy Greg Dunmore joined us. Also, Ern brought dear friend and actress-extraordinaire Kimberly Jajuan. We were all happy that we accepted an invitation and that we experienced an intimate, elegant hotel suite set with our own view of the fireworks from the 12^th floor balcony. Stuart and Dale even modeled their new finds from our boutique N (www.nharlemny.com). Though I didn’t partake of much on this night, I did fall ill at Red Oak Diner in Fort Lee, NJ ( www.redoakdiner.com/ ) – still not enough to dampen our boosted morale for a new year with ABUNDANCE, PROMISE, and POSSIBILITIES.

And to ensure we held onto that message, aforementioned Kimberly threw a lovely New Year’s Day dinner at her Newark home. Her tables were set to perfection. The food was seasoned just right. And the folks she invited made it an awesome night. Our Deepti and her new husband Brian attended. My good friend and actor Erich came with his buddies Inga and Leonard. And there was a new group of fun girls in the house as well. Kim’s prayer for me: “… ABUNDANT WORK (IN THE VENUES AND TOPICS) OF YOUR DESIRE, AS WELL AS CONTINUED PERSONAL SUCCESS…”

I couldn’t have PRAYED it any better!