"SOMEDAY WE'LL BE TOGETHER... WE STILL TOGETHER (KINDA')"
Of course, I want to romanticize my return home to Savannah for my 20-year high school reunion. In fact, I might have channeled Stew, the middle-class black teenager who goes to Europe to find himself among the avant garde (before returning home for that morale of the story) in my favorite Broadway musical “Passing Strange” (www.passingstrangeonbroadway.com) – nominated for seven Tony awards (www.tonyawards.com/) and winner to composer/performer Stew for best book of a musical (presented this weekend in my current headquarters of New York City while I was in Savannah). 
I might have filed through my pop culture conscience and internalized what Diana Ross must have felt like when she said “Someday We’ll Be Together”. 
Then, one more time 13 years later with her Supremes in 1983 at “Motown 25” (You know how ‘the gays’ are always channeling their divas). 
And – thereafter – with some ‘other’ Supremes in 2000 on her ill-advised, though critically-acclaimed, “Return to Love” tour (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoXGzVKAnxw).
But I wanted ‘my’ reunion to be a success. That wouldn’t work. Oh, what about the skit on “In Living Color” in which Kim Wayans and David Alan Grier portray Mr. and Mrs. Brooks – the seemingly loving elderly couple who constantly insult and attempt to kill each other. After numerous failed attempts, they resort to attacking each other. They usually end with "And we stiiiiilll together!" 
This humorous sentiment is one that my ‘clicque’ from school used quite often over the years after graduation as we were so close in school, it was unfathomable that we wouldn’t just be close forever.
And though we’ve all gone and grown in different directions, we are – for the most part – ‘still together’ (kinda’) or – at least – on each others’ radars (even though half the posse didn’t show up for the reunion. We missed you Bernie, Tish, Cres, Tonja… and Win!). 
With that, I landed in Savannah on Friday afternoon and hit the ground running. Ern and I decided to grab a personal pan from our old post-football-game hangout Godfather’s Pizza ( www.godfathers.com/ ). 
From there, we headed over to The Savannah Mall ( www.savannahmall.com ) – another hangout where our ’88 classmate Lori Jones Lewis and her husband own a karaoke spot Star Watch (http://www.starwatchstudio.com/), which they donated to us for our hospitality night.
It was so good to see everybody!
From the folks with whom I actually attended high school to the ones that I’ve known since elementary school (Largo Tibet), it was just one rush after another.
My best friend and “amazing grace” Natalie oversaw the planning of it all (with Lori and another classmate Terrance right alongside her). 
And from the enthusiasm of our first embraces, it was clear this was going to be a special weekend.
Classmate Adam (with whom I was in the band and show choir) proposed we do a duet. Strangely (but not unlike the twisted humor of the adolescent version of Adam), this married (and straight) man recommended Diana Ross’ and Lionel Richie’s “Endless Love”. Well, of course, I was down. We hopped in the booth and – quickly – decided he would do Lionel and I would do Diana. Well, in a nutshell, we were FABULOUS!
And though a ballad, we got the PARTY started RIGHT! 
The opener was just three hours – so an informal afterset (or three) were appropo. Texas Roadhouse ( www.texasroadhouse.com/restaurant/193/ ) – right upstairs from Star Watch – allowed us some room to decompress (Cadillac Margaritas, anyone?).
There, the joy continued. Then, we headed downtown to “Jazz’d” ( www.jazzdsavannah.com ) for live jazz, tapas, and more cocktails. 
There, we caught up in a less loud setting and continued to re-bond.
We were all reminded of how special our class was and how close we were. From there, a nothing short of comical late-night breakfast at “Denny’s” ( www.dennys.com/ ), which – at 3:30 am or so- left us laughing hysterically as we dined alongside a seedy set of grown-and-sexy professional people (That’s all I’ll say).
A quick trip to the bathroom introduced me to the deriere of one man who seemed to be taking a whore’s bath for good measure. Stunned, he kept the water running, his jacket on the basin, and ran into the sit-down stall. Ern, who was with me, proceeded to relieve himself in the stand-up stall. Traumatized, I spun around three times, screaming at the top of my lungs, and quickly exited. I’ll never be the same. Who knew – at 37 – we’d create a high-school-style night of crazy shenanigans. But compliments of our nameless, pantless friend, we did. I got home about 4:30 am and was on the phone with the-missing-Tish until 6:00 am (catching her up on all she was missing).
Saturday was beach day. Nat, Lori, and Terrance put together a wonderful set for classmates and their families at Tybee Island. 
We partook of chicken fingers, brunswick stew, and a host of good southern fixins from one of my favorite Savannah spots Barnes ( www.barnesrestaurant.com ). It was awesome to see ‘the many chips off the old blocks’. 
Lots of kids! But all well-mannered and cute (as only the child of a Windsor Forest High Schooler could be). SMILE! And getting to know spouses of the friends from the day was also cool - like Reggie's wife Robin, who was a joy. I've blogged about Reg and his amazing success before - http://thelifeofriley.squarespace.com/rilys-blog/2006/11/3/options-image-of-the-future.html )
. Here, too, we got the chance to see one of our ‘family’ members or ‘E-WING crewers’ that we haven’t seen in 19 years. It was Kevin who came all the way from Yale Divinity School for the occasion. Since middle school (and likely earlier, but that’s when I met him), Kevin was all about Donna Summer while Cres and I were all about Diana Ross. Both of them were out-of-favor with current music trends during our high school years, but you wouldn’t have known it from our respective obsessions. It was great to catch up on our jones as Miss Summer has a new album out right now ( www.burgundyrecords.com/donnasummer.php ).
And of course, Miss Ross is on tour. 
And they have befriended each other in some intimate and great ways since Kevin and I last spoke – including Donna being invited to honor Diana at VH-1 “Divas 2000: A Tribute To Diana Ross” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjWcygT164g) and (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsOgq2Y2HuU). 
Seeing Kevin was truly a highlight! 
Also, the beach provided a backdrop for my 29-waist from high school, but also my less-exciting bird chest that compared to former-geeks Ernie and Matthew’s transformed, hard bodies made me a little envious (if not aroused).
Lookin’ good, guys!!!! 
After we waded in the water, we had to quickly get back to the mainland – so we could change for the culminating event. Once I did my quick shower, shave, and squeeze (into my brown Versace shoes), I had to stop by my late mother’s sister Mary Lee’s house to say HI and then quickly to my cousin Wesley’s Savannah-Arts-Academy-high-school-graduation cookout where I dropped off a small token of pride for his achievement (including a cash prize and the book “So You Think You Can Be President?: 200 Questions To Determine If You Are Right (or Left) Enough To Be The Next Commander-In-Chief” ( www.soyouthinkyoucanbepresident.com/ ). 
From there, to Ern’s place and we were off to The Savannah Trade Center’s elegantly-appointed Savannah-River-view property ( www.savtcc.com/ ) as everyone was dressed to the 9s. 
Class-of-88-er Terrance is the Operations Manager there. So, you must know how lovely this evening was. 
Great food and spirits all around.
(Can you say “shrimp and grits” in a martini glass? Can you say turkey station? Can you say pasta station? Can you say shrimp cocktail? Can you say sausage gravy and biscuits? 
On and on, I could go… but then, I’d miss the delicious cake that was decorated especially for us!). 
Nat asked me to host a small program which allowed us to honor the handful of special folks from our class who passed away since we graduated. 
Also, it gave us the chance to celebrate Nat, Lori, and Terrence for all of their hard work. And several people came up and spoke of their memories i.e. the teachers, the spirit songs, the comraderie, the love, etc.
Then, came the dancing!
From the electric slide to the cha-cha slide to the new line dances out there, we dropped it like it was hot all night long. 
As the night was scored by Victor Cooper’s selections (from 1984-1988 and before and beyond), Ern and I got the chance to bring back our Janet-Jackson-“Control” routine during the “Soul Train” line. We killed!!!! 
Nat and Lanette did one of their drill-team (Chatelaine) routines. 
Terrrance, Nat’s husband Dwayne (who too is from Savannah and went to Largo Tibet, DeRenne, and Windsor with us before he moved to Atlanta), Lucius, Reggie, and their Liberty City crew did a whole prep/step/breakdance bit that had us all rooting them on.
And yet, curiously, it would be the final song of the night that would bring EVERYBODY together and make my wish come true. No, it wasn’t a Diana Ross song.
But I chuckle because it was another “diva of disco” (arguably gay icon) Donna Summer and her anthem “Last Dance” that inspired an emotional, but highly-charged and joyful, conga line, mosh pit, and love fest that we did not want to end.
Everyone – black, white, men, women, gay, straight (all in the Bible belt) – came together and celebrated ‘the spirit’ of a special class from Windsor Forest High School – The Class of 1988!!!!! SOMEDAY WE’LL BE TOGETHER? You damned right! And so it was. “25”, anyone?
Of course, a night so magical and fun couldn’t just end there.
Some had to be pulled off the dancefloor. Others just continued to pose for pictures because we truly wanted to make sure we captured the night as tomorrow isn't promised, but that this tomorrow came meant we wanted it to stay still - if only for one night. 
In addition to taking in the beautiful skyline that is Savannah River Street, we popped back over the bridge to enjoy River Street up close and personal as we did an afterset at “Wet Willie’s” ( www.wetwillies.com ). 
Then, that final hurrah was followed by a spirit-soaker at “IHOP” ( www.ihop.com/ ). 
It would have been great to sleep in the next day, but it was “Father’s Day”. Unlike so many of my classmates, I’m not a father. But I have one… and he is awesome. 
In fact, he made it possible for me to come to this reunion as some of my immediate funds were tied-up and I needed some “slush” pending some checks I’m anticipating (Being an independent freelancer, it can sometimes be feast or famine... and the credit only goes so far.). With that, I accepted a rare loan from my dad. And THANK GOD for it and him. Of course, he says he’s happy to do it as he knows I’m good for it. To celebrate his day, my sister came down from Atlanta on Sunday morning. We opened gifts with him (including cards from my brother and my nephew) before taking him to Geneva Restaurant, which boasts a cuisine that gives Paula Dean a run for its money. You’ll recall, I had some good banana pudding from there when I was in town a couple of weeks prior for that wedding (http://thelifeofriley.squarespace.com/rilys-blog/2008/5/30/goodnight-savannah-i-love-you-see-you-next-time.html). Well, they’d sold out of that and the baked turkey wings. Fortunately, there were many other tasty substitutes from the cajun fried turkey wing appetizer, the crabcakes, the stewed chicken and cornbread dressing, etc. Dad seemed to really enjoy. 
Also, I gifted him with these words:
Dear Dad,
What do I give a father who has just gifted me
‘room to breathe’ as I still stretch to be the core
of who you are: loving, strong, responsible, and
honorable?
Sometimes I hit the mark. Other times I don’t. But
I never quite master it the way you have. Hopefully, with
time, wisdom, and focus... I will get there.
Surely, there will be times for me to hand you a
material gift that knocks your socks off. As you well know,
this isn’t one of those times. But God willing, that time
will come.
Still, what I don’t want is another day to go
by without you knowing that I don’t take for granted all
that you have been and continue to be – as the ROCK of
a father that you are to me.
I admittedly reject it sometimes. I so want to be the
adult that doesn’t need his father anymore. And yet, I’m
clear that the blessing and my gift is that you are there for
me when I’m in need – even at 37. It’s a hard pill to swallow
and yet it warms my heart (all at the same time).
So, please know I LOVE YOU and I appreciate you. And
in addition to these words, I tangibly offer a resource guide that
promotes optimum health --- something that I hope you’ll
hold near and dear as you navigate through these golden
years (quite ably and already healthily, I might add). This,
so you’ll be here for us to love on you the way that you’ve
LOVED on us. The way that you continue to LOVE on me.
With ALL MY LOVE… your baby boy:
Patrick
It was great to spend quality time with Dad who stretched his generosity one step further today by taking us to “Sunny Side Up” – some delicious breakfast including hash browns with shrimp, broccoli, onions, etc.
GOOD STUFF! HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DAD!
While I was in Savannah , Ant was holding the fort in New York/New Jersey. Keep in mind, someone needed to look out for my nephew (though so many from the reunion were upset that they didn’t get to meet Ant, who made sure Noot had breakfast and got to work on time, etc.).
That said, Noot has adjusted so well and so quickly. He’s very independent and has a mind of his own. I sometimes think he might want to hang out (as I do often), but more times than not, he’s ready to get his good night’s sleep so he can perform at his optimum for his internship at HBO. Smart fellow! Still, he’s done some things, like an Essence/Toyota event last week that I chose not to attend. But there he was – posing with Essence ( www.essence.com/ ) editor-in-chief Angela Burt-Murray and others.
He got great shots of Keyshia Cole (who performed) as well. 
Ant and I chose to audit my girlfriend Tracey Moore-Marable’s “Spirited Actor” monologue course ( www.thespiritedactor.com/ ). We had a great time.
I enjoyed being reminded of the experience as I was one of her first students in the course 12 years ago. Also, I’m reminded that Tracey is the first person to introduce a solid, new-age context into my personal conversation around spirituality which compliments my core belief system as a Christian brilliantly.
It too was good to see her daughter Radiance who stopped by and has grown to be quite the young lady. And Tracey has lots going on – including a ‘Spirited Actor’ book (about which I’ll be writing more very soon) and a scene study course that she’s delegated her colleague and actress Joy to teach very soon. Be sure to check out her website for all the updates. On this night, Noot joined Ant and me at our old-standby BBQ (www.bbqnyc.com/) where we ran into some great folks I hadn’t seen in a minute.
George and Seven, who I know from Bleu Magazine ( www.thebleumag.com/ ), came by our table. In addition to his duties at Bleu, he is working on a play. Seven is doing amazing things alongside being a mother of four – one of whom is planning to go to Morehouse next year (Noot is giving him some advice). 
Old friend Michael Jasper, trainer for the stars, popped by. Just in the neighborhood. Then, Demarco Majors, who I’ve written about before (as openly-gay basketball player), was also dining and told me he’s working on a book.
Noot would say before meal’s end “Is there anyone you don’t know?” Well, such is “… the life of Riley…”.
He should have been with us the night we went to Steve and his wife ZZs place in Jersey (my name for her. It’s Luczema).
Though the ribs and chicken burnt on the grill (as Steve and Ern were more occupied with getting our frozen cocktails just right), we had the best time. Plus, they got to meet Ant who they’d been wanting to meet for the first time.
And how cute is their pooch? 
Also, my Frankie Edozien ( www.edozien.net ) just celebrated a birthday. We toasted him at B Bar ( www.bbarandgrill.com ). He wanted to POUND me a la my latest NBC/MSNBC impression ( http://thelifeofriley.squarespace.com/rilys-blog/2008/6/6/a-pound-is-nothing-without-someone-you-love-to-share-it-with.html ). 
We also celebrated William Thompson, Frankie’s Diana-Ross-loving-friend who too was sharing a birthday. 
Nectarios was in the house and he, Ant, and I networked a bit on some possible projects we may work on down the line. 
A great night was had by all. Meanwhile, my nephew called to tell us the lights went out (and he was home in the dark as the tri-state area experienced a tornado that caused a blackout in certain areas). By the time we got home, they were still out (and would be until 5:00 am or so). But I brought him some food, which you see him enjoying in the kitchen. Only the flash could allow you to see him. It was dark (We lit candles and brought out the flashlights before we realized they weren’t coming back on anytime soon. So, we turned in.). 
Quick randoms:
I got the chance to produce (and be on-camera) for a segment that was based on the book “When I Knew” by Robert Trachtenburg ( http://www.amazon.com/When-I-Knew-Robert-Trachtenberg/dp/0060571462 ).
I got the chance to interview some of the subjects who shared not when they came out of the closet (as gay) but when they knew deep down inside that they were gay. The project actually won a GLAAD Award – a nod for my work and my testimonial which anecdotally attributes my seeing a Diana Ross show in 1978 (at 8 years old) that forever changed me. She was fabulous and fierce and I was clear it wasn’t a “crush”. I felt like I knew her. I felt like I was her. I felt like she understood me (This, before I knew anything of ‘gay icons’ and the iconography that comes with it). Also, Gene Anthony Ray (“Leroy” from “Fame”) was a muse – an identifier of someone that I felt I was like but was ashamed to claim. Does that make sense? Of course, there are many examples from my youth of how I knew, but those pop culture filters tell more pointedly. With that, my friend Michael K. Watts invited me to a HBO documentary that Cinemax is going to air based on the book “When I Knew”. It’s title is the same. 
To find out more, click on www.wheniknew.com/ and share your story, if you choose.
So, I throw that tidbit on the end because it shows that I knew I was gay deep down inside since even before high school (even before I knew what the word was or meant). Yet, there would be a couple of decades before I could 'come out' with that truth. Given high school establishes so much of what society wants us to be (right or wrong and for good & bad), it wasn't a time I could express it or even act on it. If I had, I would have been teased and made to feel shameful - most in particular because of certain Faith-based principles that exist in the church and the African American community. As it bubbled under (and inside of me), I didn't feel it was safe to acknowledge that truth that lied within. I didn't feel it was a sickness, a curse, or a sin. I just knew it wasn't a popular thing to be and I didn't want to run the risk of not being accepted (when so much of my identity was in making people like me, love me, laugh, etc.). Though it would be the first thought many would have when they met me (and I know that to be true), it didn't exist as long as I didn't say it was true. Here, 20 years later, I've rescued myself from that mindset and my heart warms at my own confidence in my skin and I'm happy with who I am and the choices I have made around this 'natural truth' for MY life (I didn't learn it at the club or via Diana Ross or from my sister or my mom). To me, it's divine. And I'm excited at all the "Amazing Graces" who have been in my life throughout this time (hence, why I'm shopping a book titled "Big Willies & Amazing Graces: gay men and their best girlfriends" - to celebrate that special bond). Still, I'm clear (and hear) that not everyone is on the page of my orientation and there are judgments, thoughts, and intolerances people may have about it (maybe old friends or perhaps spouses of old friends). And that's their prerogative. I know what's in my heart and those who LOVE me know of what I'm made. That's what is important to me. The rest can catch up when they get around to opening their hearts and releasing their judgments, self-righteousness, and superiority. My hope is for a day when someone knows what they are and how they love on the inside. And that same day they can safely express it and come out. So, then the world (and those in their world) will accept it... and we can all move on with our lives... and KEEP ON DANCING... together! "Someday..."
THE LIFE OF RILEY
in PATRICK'S POP(UP)DATES/TESTIFY/PR
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