A DAY IN "THE LIFE OF RILEY"

WITH MISS ROSS' new release "I LOVE YOU" coming out on January 16th, I share a couple of TESTIFY/PATRICK'S POP UP(DATES) from the vaults to get us all in the mood.

DIANA ROSS IN CONCERT
LOCATION: ROGER SHERMAN BALDWIN PARK (Greenwich, CT)
* 1st stateside show since July 23, 2002
* FREE (with patron tix sold from $250 to $1,000 - all proceeds benefitting the ARCH STREET TEEN CENTER)

BACKGROUND:
One week ago, Greenwich, CT resident Diana Ross called Arch Street teen center Executive Director Kyle Silver to see if he would be interested in her giving a free concert in the adjacent Roger Sherman Baldwin Park. Her sons, Evan (16) and Ross (17) are active members of the nonprofit organization that promotes a drug-and alcohol-free environment for high-school age teens to socialize and take on active roles in the community. Since the town's high school graduation was scheduled for the following Thursday, Diana felt this proposed show would be a great way to celebrate and kick off summer for Greenwich and its residents.

This committment made in Diana's Belle Haven mansion last week echoed the vocal strains of "I'm Coming Out", crescending from her dressing room trailer in July of 1983, when she began day two of her legendary  Central Park Concert, which too was free. Prior to belting out that show opener, Ross yelled "IT'S A NEW DAY!!!!" since it rained on her first-attempt the day prior. And since the diva has metaporically seen her share of dark nights over the last couple of years, it's awesome to know she's returning to the light of the stage, one place where she will  belong eternally (... but for now, this is a one-night-only gig). And though we know she's a native daughter from Detroit's Brewster Projects, how appropriate that she's choosing the understated opulence of Greenwich, her home for the last twenty years, to come back to us.

FAST FORWARD just one week and organizers have combed through logistics (including town permits; patron ticket sales [proceeds which will benefit Arch Street]; managing phone calls; staging; etc.). And what's left? The highly anticipated show:

(DRUMROLL..................................)

SHOWTIME:

It's about 8:30 pm. More than 4,000 people of all ages are facing the stage shell beneath which Diana will soon stand. Her youngest son, Evan, can be seen floating through the crowd. His older brother, Ross, 17, is hanging out with some friends on the side of the seated audience. I see Diana's first husband Bob Silberstein there for support. And I think that's Rhonda Ross over there. She's the oldest of Ross' offspring. No Tracee. No Chudney. The band is in place and the teen center's executive director is thanking folks and without ado, he's introducing...  Miss Diana Ross.

From my front-row seat (overlooking the Long Island Sound), I can see a bit of her behind the stage. She's draped in a coat of pink and orange feathers, which will later reveal a strapless, pink gown with sheer skirt of many layers. As the band overtures with the intro to her huge '80s hit "I'm Coming Out", Diana slightly trips onto the stage, an unintentional ritual that can always spark a little giggle from her and her fans.

But this is no sloppy chick or show. With ease and aplomb, she goes through a now obligatory "Chain Reaction" followed by her sassy, sexy, and jazzy reading of "Touch Me In The Morning". She is in great voice and looks spectacular (not a day over 60 [READ: 38]). Her mane says "I'm a Lion". But not a "Mean Ol' One". In fact, she's not mad at anything as she unleashes what seems a freshly-polished, 88-key smile on the enthusiastic crowd.

Only her repertoire from the "good ol' days" gives away her age. She works her way through several full-length Supremes songs from the 1960s - starting with "My World Is Empty Without You", "You Can't Hurry Love", "Where Did Our Love Go?", "Baby Love", and "Stop! In The Name Of Love". As she states, "It's been a long time since I've performed...". To that end, we forgive her periodic peek-a-boos at the teleprompter that sets below her at the edge of the stage right next to her sound monitors.

What might be perceived as a moment to change clothes ends up being her "proud moment of the night". She calls her youngest son, Evan up to the stage to perform Stevie Wonder's "Overjoyed". Big sister Rhonda is coaching him through a sometimes pitchy, but otherwise impressive interpretation. Her husband, jazz pianist Rodney Kendricks, is the accompanist. Mother Diana stands behind Evan - reading her copy of the sheet music to make sure everything is flowing smoothly. It does... and we reward Evan with a standing ovation.

We love you, Evan... but bring Mama back to the spotlight. When she re-emerges stage center, she breaks out with another of her slamming '80s hits, "Mirror, Mirror". The funky guitar interlude provides her the opportunity to change into her next ensemble. From pale pink to a tiered red and fuschia number that covers her as if Diana is a rose in bloom. Through "Reflections" she's just that, but on "Love Child", she drops the fabric to reveal a strapless, sequined bodice and a train that allows her the room to do a "flamenco"-style number on the breakdown of the '60s hit. The stomping two-step shows us that Miss Ross still has the moves (or is she channeling the days in the Brewster Projects when perhaps she may have been stomping a cockroach or two?). Regardless, she's fabulous and this show couldn't be any better.

Maybe it could be, if she would call me on stage to dance with her, after she gets rid of the gown's fabric to just reveal a micro-mini number with high-heeled, metallic stacks that showcase her legs quite splendidly.  She is jamming to disco classic "Upside Down" and my knees turn to butter when she signals for me to come up. I make it through the velvet rope, up the three steps, and am met with a Diana who is quite enthusiastic about my pants. She says "Look at those pants. Those are great!  Wow!". Pointedly, I am wearing white-linen drawstrings with red hand-painted brush strokes for Miss Ross as she has admired my sometimes vibrant choice of pants over the years. (She also used to have a jones for New Edition's "jackets".) So, my mission is accomplished here, but I still have to dance. I channel the moves that she and Michael Jackson did together on the Jackson 5's "Feelin' Alright', which they performed on her first solo TV special. Diana is feeling "more than alright" and we are grooving as one. The moment goes on for what seems like forever (likely just a minute). Eventually, Diana stretches out her arms to give me a hug. She then kisses my cheek. I reciprocate and then squeeze her shoulders one last time in gratitude and awe. She gestures me off the stage. She thanks me. I thank her. And somehow I make it back to my seat, which is just three steps away.

I can die and go to heaven at this point, but thank goodness I don't because she begins to sing arguably my favorite Diana song, which she's not done in her line-up for some years. The song is "The Boss" and she sings it with the same vigor and va-voom of the '79 classic recording produced by Ashford and Simpson.

On the heels of those highs, Diana takes it down a thousand (and changes into a simple white gown covered in silver and gold applique). She doesn't want to bring the energy down, given the occassion, but she knows she must bring us Billie, as in Holliday, the legendary singer she portrays to Oscar-nominated effect in "Lady Sings The Blues". "Fine and Mellow" is sassy and vulnerable. But "Don't Explain" is just haunting and filled with a pain that Diana is perhaps living to interpret so honestly and vulnerably. Her virtuosoes are also allowed some vamp time during this set. HOT BAND!

She brings the crowd back on its feet with 50s remake "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?" followed by "Do You Know Where You're Going To? (Theme from 'Mahogany')", which segues into "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". And we believe her. Not only that, as the audience is on its feet, it's as if they are saying "Nothing Can Keep Us From You, Diana". This, since many have traveled from as far as the U-K and the West Coast to survey Diana's triumphant and generous return to the stage. And others have spent between $250 and $1,000. Ain't No Mountain (or ticket sales) high enough to see Diana Ross, apparently...

And with THANKS, she sings "Endless Love" (after another costume change into a lime green, sequined gown). She curiously asks the crowd if it remembers this song. That standard query is usually thought to be a rhetorical, but Diana needs reinforcement. With applause and cheers, the audience assures her they haven't forgotten one song or her. Convinced, she continues to sing for the fans and her two little boys to whom she blows kisses during this, the biggest hit of her career.

An expected encore of "I Will Survive" places us on our feet and allows Diana the chance to show some fierce grit on some of those lines. As she belts this one out (eventually bringing out the red pant suit and tennis shoes), you get the sense that not only will she REALLY survive, but "(she) Ain't Been Licked, y'all".

And she reminds us of that at the post-show meet-and-greet. She looks great - even without the stage lights. She poses and signs autographs, and really allows us to be all up in her grill. Though she and the band will perform at a "private party" tomorrow night to be held at Caesar's Atlantic City for high-rollers, Diana hints that she may be doing even more work sometime soon, but no dates or promises. If tonight's show is a gauge, it will surely be worth the wait.

Well, HAPPY NEW YEAR folks!

I write this from Chicago as I'm here working on an assignment. As I am four days into the New Year, I'm still basking a bit in the past weekend in New York City, which I'm already missing. On Friday, I'm happy to report that Anthony did make it out of Denver to me. We hit the ground running with a weekend of good food, folly, and fun - most of which was a recap on things that have brought us social fulfillment from our last year together. We dropped his bags off and met his childhood friend Lonni at Kashkaval in Manhattan (Her selection. I had an inkling it wasn't my kind of cuisine). But in the spirit of adventure, I agreed and trusted I'd find something. First things first, though, we couldn't even find the Upper Hell's Kitchen restaurant (even though we had the address) as it gives "deli" at first glance with straw baskets in the windows and piles of meats and cheeses just beyond. But as we walked even farther into the spot, there was a bar, a restaurant, and Lonni. We collectively enjoyed a mix  of tappas (including hummus), fondue combos, and wine. I additionally ordered a chicken caesar salad as a shout out to familiar, but even its make-up was a hair more exotic than I'm used to. All good in the end as it was great to see Lonni. From there, we popped uptown (Harlem) to my friend Brian's bistro Native to have night cap. We also took the time to greet everyone I know from the neighborhood with love, hugs, and kisses as the New Year was getting ready to ring on in. Anthony and I were aiming to hit another spot downtown for some dancing, but chose to call it a night as it was only just the beginning and it gave us a chance to catch up.

By Saturday morning, we were refreshed for this historic day: My 12th and supposedly FINAL screening of "DREAMGIRLS" at the Magic Johnson Theater in Harlem.  But first, we did a quick lunch at HOUSTON's which Anthony has not been fond of since we met. Finally, however, I'm happy to report that he enjoyed his dish, the service, and the experience of HOUSTON's which finally means "I should keep him around". SMILE! Off to the movie (accompanied also by my Ernest, who experienced DREAMGIRLS #4 & #10 with me), Anthony and I (who did #5 together) were able to actually sit together this time, which meant we had lots of comments to share in each other's ears as we enjoyed the movie. Once it was all said and done (and obvious that my Harlem-ites were loving them some "DREAMGIRLS"), Anthony asked if I was done now (until maybe after the Oscars or perhaps when the DVD comes out). Without knowing what was getting ready to happen, I told him I was - for sure - done, unless I "stumbled" into a bootleg on the street (CAVEAT: I'm ANTI-BOOTLEG, but didn't see the challenge in buying one as I ----- HAVING SEEN "DREAMGIRLS" 12 TIMES ------ am CLEARLY going to BUY more than ONE [perhaps 12] of the actual DVD when it comes on the market with its extras and karaoke options, etc. ). To that, we walked out of the theater and did a promenade towards the car by some street vendors who - guess what? - were selling "DREAMGIRLS". Now, to maintain my integrity and protect the innocent, I will let you use your imaginations about what happened next. From there, we hit BBQ Dallas for an additional evening snack. We did the one in Washington Heights and enjoyed a mix of vegetable tempura, fried shrimp, and frozen cocktails. Our waitress, named Diana, managed to card Ern and Anthony, but not me. Now, I'm clearly "over 21", but NOT TOO MUCH DIANA!!!! With that, Anthony struck this pose:

That evening, my friend Roderick and his friend Tony picked Anthony and me up to go to Montclair, New Jersey for a friend Derrick's "Eve of the Eve" party. We opted to go here instead of Jennifer Hudson's "One Night Only" concert at the Hammerstein Ballroom. Though we LOVE MISS JENNIFER, I had an inkling it might be a little too "circuit"/"Queer-as-Folk"-ish for our taste. Not sure whether it was or not as all of our "fellow J-Hud-ers" too didn't go (as it also was a big social night in the city and some felt the ticket prices for Jennifer were too high). Still, I hear it was good (and you can judge for yourself via YOU TUBE):

Back to Derrick's place, we had loads of fun as I ran into lots of my friends and associates, like Dexter, Tony, Melvin, Mario, Brett, etc. Everyone seemed to have a good time. At one point, some of our friends began to act a bit strangely. But Anthony and I decided to chalk it up to enebriation. Still, whether that was the case or not, there was a lot of extra "emotions" going on with a couple of our fellow partyers. So, perhaps it was something even stronger. SMILE! But it was not enough to ruin our time which came to an end as Roderick was ready to go (and so were we!).

After a nice night's sleep, we got up the next early afternoon to enjoy Sunday brunch at Day O with Ern. This is where I went for my birthday brunch. Over good southern/caribbean fare and "rum punches", we had a nice time.  We tried to find a "Century 21" (discount department store) that I thought was in the area, but we couldn't Still, we stumbled into a PUMA store and my boo convinced me to buy a new bag. My freebie Kenneth Cole (with purchase) was imploding on me. So, I replaced it anew with a more suitable "murse" ("man purse"). He says he'll now carry it for me (Used to be embarassed).

Once home, we had just enough time to get ourselves together for the special New Year's Eve hang that our friends Jason and Marqise were hosting at their lovely home in Jamaica, New York. Their usual suspects of good vibrations, food, and fun were all in place. Champagne (only the best) was flowing as well as other cocktails. There was lots of good food - from honey-mustard-glazed chicken tenders and shrimp cocktail (arranged and served on the rims of martini glasses). Jason made sure we all had a good time, even going so far as to play me "their" version of "DREAMGIRLS" (that's all I'm going to say) and though I promised my boo I would NOT see it again before the New Year, he excused it since it wasn't introduced by me. Technically, I didn't see it a 13th time (just 12 1/2 as we watched from beginning through to the "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" scene). Then, it was time to ring out 2006 and ring in 2007. As the clock struck midnight, we toasted and my boo kissed me. Then, we shared in the joy with all of the other guests at this intimate gathering of good, positive, forwarding people --- just what we had ordered.

NOW, REWIND TO LAST YEAR AND THIS IS WHAT I WROTE TO SOMEONE:

AND LET ME TELL YOU: on New Year's Eve, we attended my good friend and Amazing Grace NICHOLE and her husband TONY's HARLEM RENAISSANCE-themed party (in New Rochelle). We rocked 'harlem renaissance' more contemporary. Anthony was a "paperboy" with a hip hop flair. I was a Harlem renaissance writer/poet/socialite with couture ascot to boot (a la D'AMBROSE). And I envisioned that one day I would come into New Year's with someone I liked to be able to kiss at the ring of midnight. It happened this year. Anthony planted the kiss of ALL kisses on me, after saying HAPPY NEW YEAR. And it was great!

Having loved and dated and now lost my KODJOE [who had died earlier in 2005], I can honestly say that I have NEVER been with a MALE DATE that I was REALLY feeling deeply to ring in the new year. Last year, though KODJOE did call me just after MIDNIGHT as I celebrated in NYC with Ern and Kim, he did not actually ring in the New Year with me as he didn't like to hang out and wanted instead to enjoy the New Year quietly (but wanted me to go on out and enjoy myself). Still, KODJOE did shift in a big way by spending the full NEW YEAR'S DAY into NIGHT (and into JANUARY 2ND with me) and that alone - for him - was a HUGE STRETCH - given the intimacy and socialness of the itinerary i..e. brunch with friends and dinner at another friend's home, and dessert and nightcap at my place.

But this ONE MOMENT IN TIME for Anthony and me --- inside of a month-old connection --- was a benign mythology realized. So, we'll see... ROMANCE I can do. Gotta stay GROUNDED though to build something that merits.

SO... LOVE IS IN THE AIR... for us ALL!!!!!

FAST FORWARD BACK THROUGH 2007 to a year of a NEW ROMANCE that turned into a LONG- DISTANCE ROMANCE that turned into a LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP that turned into a RELATIONSHIP of LOVING, SHARING, and CONNECTION that has transcended the miles between Denver and New Jersey, and that has carried us from Philadelphia to Chicago to the mountains of Crestone, Colorado to the island of Maui in Hawaii and - most exotic of all - to my family in Savannah, Georgia. And then, land on January 1st, just after the stroke of midnight 2007. Inside of this ride, I give THANKS for having had the chance to LOVE someone new and someone this long. I can never say what TOMORROW will bring because I've learned the HARD WAY that TOMORROW is NOT PROMISED, but I stand for ALL POSSIBILITIES and ABUNDANCE and CONTINUED LOVING to show up for us (and for us ALL). And I know that I am GRATEFUL for what Anthony and I have been allowed to SUSTAIN to this point. A BLESSING, I'll call it.

The night capped off with Jason's friend Liz and her niece graciously taking Anthony and me back to Manhattan. We did a night cap at "NO PARKING", our little club in Washington Heights which too is owned by my friend Brian. After perhaps one too many shots of Patron, we made it on in to my home and slept through much of New Year's Day. Still, Ern prepared a lovely, "traditional" New Year's Day meal of fried chicken, black eyed peas, and collard greens. We watched "REFLECTIONS", the Diana Ross & the Supremes collection of TV appearances from the '60s along with ED SULLIVAN's box set of pop appearances, like Diana and "the girls", the 5th Dimension, James Brown, Stevie Wonder, The Temptations, etc. With Tata and Kimberly Jajuan in the house, we had a low-key, but "good ol' time" of laughing, eating, and watching TV like the days when all our folks would say "colored people on! colored people on!". 

After another night of good sleep, we had Tuesday to hang out in the city. Anthony and I went to "Century 21" finally, but didn't see much. We met up with our New Year's eve host Jason, who had to give me something I left at their home. From there, he took us to a cool new shopping locale for me, UNIQLO (www.uniqlo.com/ )at it's global flagship store on Broadway just below Houston. Anthony and I got some cool gear out of there and Jason, who used to be a personal shopper, hadn't lost his touch as he "styled" me in a few cute things. Taking a little too much time (by stopping in Ben Sherman, where I uncovered that I got a $190 hooded jacket for $35 from the designer's sample sale before Christmas), we met up with Jason's other half, our other New Year's Eve co-host Marqise at BAR 89 in SOHO. We - the two couples - had a chance to enjoy some good burgers and white wine/German beer as we anticipated the end of Anthony's New Year's trip. Anthony and I were reminded how nice it is to have our love reflect off of another couple that is in the throes of commitment (rings and all) and still taking it one day at a time through challenges, struggles, and the many things that we must manage in our daily lives. And then, land on love. Isn't that great????

AUNTIE MARY LEE
BY PATRICK L. RILEY
(SUBMISSION TO BE CONSIDERED FOR: Aunties: Not Just Another Mother
by INGRID STURGISS). didn't get selected for the book, but now i can share it. 

  My mom died from a heart attack on July 20, 1994. Though an arguably long, twelve years ago, I still flinch at the one-two punch that comes from using the word "mom" and any variation of the word "death" in the same sentence.
  Maybe I'm being dramatic because I'm the baby of the family and
feel that 23 years old is too young for a "mama's boy" to lose his
mom. After all, I hadn't begun to live and fulfill those dreams she
had for me - the ones she only seemed to understand, like my
insatiable need to have a career that made me happy. This, versus
the career "US News & World Report" was announcing would make me
stable in the marketplace.
  Plus, I had yet to buy her one of the cliché'd symbols of having
made it, like a house or a luxury car. And though she had a chance to
witness me receiving a nice civic award here and an industry nod there, she didn't see me win the Emmy or Grammy or Oscar or some household symbol of my profession that would go on her mantle in the home that I would have bought for her.
  Maybe I'm just trying to wrap my brain around the dose of reality
that she was only 54 when she left this earth (what a short life).
But the truth is she lived 45 more years than the doctors forecasted
when she was a child. At that time, my mom was given six months to
live as she struggled through a bout of rheumatic fever. Still, that
brings no comfort.
  Maybe my brain is fried over what seems to be a death curse in my
family. In 1974, my mom lost her own mother, who was in her early 60s when she died. My mom was 54.
   Bottom line: My mom died and it hurt like hell. And twelve years
later, it still hurts like hell.
   And unlike the close call from spring 1992 when she suffered
from congestive heart failure two weeks before my college graduation, she wasn't coming back this time.
    During that health crisis, she took ill and still managed to
recover and be in place to cheer me on at my alma mater Morehouse's
outside ceremony. That feat included a four-hour road trip from
Savannah, Georgia to Atlanta, which couldn't have been comfortable
considering her condition.
    Not only that, but the next two years seemed to give her a long lease on life. She lost lots of weight in all the right places. She began to eat more healthily. On some level, she just seemed happier and more vibrant. And never would I have anticipated another dreadful call another two years later from an intensive care unit.
   Right after that close call, Mom seemed that much more beautiful and statuesque than before the health episode. At my graduation, the sun made her hazel eyes shine that much brighter. Her multi-colored blouse-and-skirt ensemble with gold, metallic accents hung that much more flowingly off of her shapely frame. And that sheer, silky head-wrap with splashes of burnt orange - like her top,made her an even more dynamic diva than she already was. Think Maya Angelou at her most regal.
  And by mom's side stood Mary Lee. I call her Auntie Mary Lee,
mother's oldest (by two years) and only sibling.
  She was always the more understated one of the twosome. For every
strand of Mom's fiery auburn hair, there was a more conservative
blend of salt-and-pepper to Mary Lee's tresses.
  For every vocal lead my mother took in the church choir, there was a rich bottom that Mary Lee would provide on the four-part harmony.    For every pair of pants mom wore as a compliment to her heavily skirted wardrobe, there were only dresses - house and otherwise - to pad out my aunt's more mature gear.
  In my lifetime, the two sisters have been jokingly called "The
Weather Girls" or "Two Tons of Fun" when their respective weights
got the best of them. Like the glamorous disco duo - known for the
big hit "It's Raining Men," mom and Mary Lee cleaned up very well.
No matter their sizes, they really were fabulous when they sashayed
out of their homes.
  TV detectives "Cagney and Lacey" are another pair to which my
aunt and mother have been likened as they could sometimes get into
their own kind of trouble trying to locate a missing family member
or rescue a wayward cousin. I'm talking trench coats, ditches, and
flashlights. They truly had each other's back.
   From back in the day, they were "The Preacher's Daughters" or
those "Bellinger Girls" as their father was a pastor of a well-known
church in Savannah. I hear you wouldn't typically see one without the other. And when you did, they were mostly in church.
  Interestingly, they lost twenty years of being attached at the
hip, after my mom married my dad in 1958. As an Air Force man, my
father led my mother on an itinerary that included Berlin, Germany;
San Bernadino, California; and Tokyo, Japan where I was born. During
those twenty-plus years of travel with three kids to boot (my two
older siblings), my Auntie Mary Lee would hold the fort in Savannah,
looking after their parents, raising her own two kids, and managing
a marriage of her own.
   But when Dad retired from the military in the late 1970s, Mary
Lee got her sister back. Mom and Dad chose their childhood home Savannah as the place where we - as a family - would settle down.
   For the next three years, my mom and Mary Lee tag teamed on
keeping their father fed and fit. At this time, my grandfather was a
retired preacher and widower, who had suffered a stroke and was
living in a nursing home. With my mom again by her side, my aunt
visited Granddaddy and took him hot, home-cooked meals everyday. He
wouldn't eat the food that the health care facility provided.
   This daunting arrangement gave my mom the opportunity to pay her
sister back for the many times Mary Lee was left to care for Grand- daddy on her own, including the time when their mother had fallen ill. Mom was raising us in California.
   Also, Auntie Mary Lee had a heart attack herself in the mid-70s.
She didn't want anyone to tell my mother until she got better. My
mom was thousands of miles away on the West Coast and she didn't
want to worry her so soon after their mom's passing. As a result,
Mom wasn't around to help much during her recovery.
  I guess Auntie Mary Lee is a typical "older sibling". She didn't
want anyone to worry and very often put herself and her needs last.
Perhaps I was drawn to her as a child for those reasons, much like
I'm probably drawn to my own "oldest sibling" Janice. She has a knack for putting other's first, especially those "youngest kids" in her life (not just me).
  My aunt was a wonderful compliment to my mom's more direct, in-your-face brand of parenting, no doubt rooted in her being the bratty, outspoken baby in her own clan.
  Sans the neck roll or lip flap my sassy mom might toss at you
before she would step foot into the kitchen, Auntie Mary Lee was
always more than willing to prepare any range of dishes for us. From
pork 'n beans to the all-out soul food smorgasbord with sweet tea,
and lemon for kicks, she cooked to order.
   With Mom, sometimes we had to constantly badger her to purchase
the things we "wanted" versus what might have been on sale; Mary Lee's cookie jar always had one of my many favorite brands of cookies in it - namely the flower-shaped ones that have BUTTER inscribed simply on the packaging. Incidentally, the cookies that came out of her cookie jar just tasted better.
   And without having to bring home straight A's, my aunt would
always call me "the professor". To her, the fact that I was reading anything made me smart. Granted, I wasn't always reading Langston or
Shakespeare. Sometimes, it was a teen rag magazine, but somehow she
always identified my love of reading with being the smartest kid on the block. Surely, Auntie Mary Lee's simple philosophy worked for me as it came with less an onus than the one I had to adopt in my own household, where pats on the back didn't come as effortlessly. It was always nice to have the option to not have to try as hard to impress when I visited my enabling aunt.
  I just loved having a mother and an aunt, who were so similar,
yet so different. And without mom here, that balance is gone. I not
only feel a huge sadness for myself - a pity I've taken to Jesus and
a therapist.
  But Auntie Mary Lee must be dealing with an even more intense grief. I mean, my mom is someone she's known all her life.
  Though they haven't always been geographically in the same city,
they have always been close. When they were in the same city, they
were road-dogs. And whatever time they didn't spend together
physically was off set with the telephone. Auntie Mary Lee would
call mom everyday at 5 o'clock. And though mom would sometimes
cavalierly receive the call, she'd panic if it didn't come.
  "I haven't heard from my sister today," she'd say. "Patrick! Call
Mary Lee and make sure she's okay."
  I find myself similarly impacted when my own (and only) sister
calls on the dime with nothing to say. But let that call not come,
I'm on the wire trying to reach out to her and find out why I didn't
hear from her. This, my aunt has no more.
   And as the last person living and breathing from her immediate family, she's got to be in a really sad place right now.
  "Mary Lee is your mama now," my aunt's current husband Lloyd once
said. "You won't be without a mama because Mary Lee is here."
  When he spoke this, I respectfully nodded without any words, even though my instinct was stabbing me in my gut that this is not the case, for me at least. The reality is there will never be a replacement for my mother. She provided me a brand of love that no one can duplicate.
  And chances are the sadness I continue to feel will always linger
near, even if time has allowed me a few more moments of laughter and
bliss.
   Still, on those moments when I venture back to Savannah from my
new home New York City, I can go and visit my sweet Auntie Mary Lee.
  No, she's not my mom. But she's a bittersweet reminder of the
good stock, which bred my mother.
  And whenever my Auntie Mary Lee and I come together, I feel a nostalgic glimmer of the comfort I felt as a child -- with each meal, with each cookie, and with each compliment.
  I flinch again at the thought of life without her.

POST SCRIPT: Uncle Lloyd died earlier this year. Auntie Mary Lee is still hanging in there. She was so gracious to prepare my favorite dishes, including cornbread dressing, for the Christmas meal, even though she wasn't feeling her best with osteoarthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, and other pars for the course of aging. She's still funny, bright, sharp, and on top of all that goes on in our family.

The year is winding down and I'm back home in Jersey from having been on a tour of 'my families' in Atlanta and Savannah. I'm basking a bit inside of my 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (and closing in on my 12 DAYS OF DREAMGIRLS). I'll share here the highlights from my last week and change.

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS:  In my last entry, I referenced my wonderful interview with multi-talented director J. Maurice Jamal for the re-designed and upcoming issue of ROCKSTAR Magazine (formerly "Ballroom Rockstar" Magazine, which featured me in its debut issue earlier this year). His film "DIRTY LAUNDRY" (starring Loretta Devine, Rockmond Dunbar, Jennifer Lewis, etc. www.dirtylaundrythemovie.com) features Dunbar in the role of "Patrick", a man with southern roots who has relocated to New York City to unleash a "new" life his folks at home don't know about. Not EXACTLY my story, but so many of the nuances are ripped from the pages of my own life. And I look forward to telling you all when and how you can see this great film. Meanwhile, see a pic or two from our interview.  

ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS: I made my way to Atlanta on Thursday morning, after my all-night social marathon in the city. My 19-year-old cousin Floyd picked me up and was my stellar driver/assistant/traveling companion for the next couple of days that I spent in Atlanta. First things first, I got the chance to begin my checklist of restaurants that I must do before I go back north. Nothing special in the way of five-star dining, but they are the kind of places that brought me comfort as a child (and help me to remember how simple and sweet things were in the past). We did cafeteria-style Picadilly first. From fried chicken to mashed potatoes and gravy to corn to Mexican cornbread to devil's food cake, I brought myself right back to what is so right about these cafeterias that are so popular in the south. But my SWEET TEA (which isn't as readily available in the north) was just what the doctor ordered for my holiday blues.

ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS: I got the chance to spend time with my sister and her husband in their new home in the Greater Atlanta area. Additionally, she, Floyd, and I did lots of last-minute shopping at a few malls (including my sister's and my annual tradition of her buying and me selecting my Christmas sweater in the wake of some ugly-sweater years of old). We also did Wal-Mart along with a lovely meal at a spot called "ARIZONA's". Here, my sister and Floyd pose after we enjoyed a meal of rib-eye steak, jalapenio grits, etc. And since eating is what we do, I got the chance to experience - for the first time - seafood restaurant Pappadeux which I'd heard lots about over the years. Finally, with my sister's fellow church members in tow, I got the chance to experience it. Floyd was there too with his mother Barbara. Over crabcakes, frog legs, and a number of other low-country delicacies, we had a great time.

ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: It was actually the same day as our PAPPADEUX meal, we enjoyed "PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS" starring Will Smith and his son Jaden. We really enjoyed it. Will did a nice job, but his son stole the movie with excellent choices in his scenes. He's - for sure - one to watch.

ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: On Saturday and Sunday (Christmas Eve), I got to enjoy wonderful breakfast at a place my Chandra works as a hostess on the weekends. She is another of my best friends since the college years in Atlanta and all the way through my years in New York City where we both worked. She's always inspired me in my career as she made daring leaps to design her "lives" as an advertising media planner turned publicist's assistant turned publicist for well-known brands like Warner Brothers, VIBE, and FUBU. From there, she came back to Atlanta to care for her mother alongside studying design towards her next career shift. Meanwhile, she's doing real estate. And through all of that, I've made my own daring leaps in my career (not half as risky as she) and we've continued to support each other. Perhaps one of my biggest smiles over my time down in Georgia came from her as I simply sat at the counter to eat my breakfast as she popped back-and-forth between her work and me. I LOVE MY CHANDRA and wish we had spent more time together. I too stumbled into familiar folks as happens when I'm back in Atlanta and Savannah. In an ironic twist of fate, I saw my old Atlanta pastor and his wife Apostle and St. Thompson (who now live in Charlotte). This, after I greeted my Chandra as we always have for our sixteen years of knowing each other --- JACK-AND-KAREN-style (from WILL & GRACE) with a hyper-sexual hump and tug. Imagine my embarassment. But I stood in it and greeted them warmly as I came to find out that their son, who I had never met, reached out to me via e-mail earlier in the week about a contact he was hoping to secure through me. To take the story a step further, their son, Adrian Dana, later joined them here at the restaurant. So, we got to meet each other and I got to learn more about his hat business. He's a milliner (www.church-hats.com) who has already landed some lofty contracts, like Tyler Perry's "Madea's Family Reunion" for which he did all of the hats in its wedding scene. CONGRATS! Meanwhile, the next day, a couple of Morehouse men (Class of '97) came up to me, recognizing me from the feature that the Morehouse Alumnus magazine did on me this month. They were nice guys and it was an appreciated shout out.

ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: I got the chance to participate in a roundtable of positive and powerful black gay men at popular Atlanta coffee shop "Java-ology". Excerpts of the content from the recorded chat (moderated by my friend Gil Robertson) will be published in CLIK magazine's Feburary issue. I'll tell you more as I know more, but let me just say the chat was nothing short of therapeutic as we spent that couple of hours. Gil and my other friends Mashaun Simon, who is the NABJ Student Representative (Board Member) and Michael K. Watts (along with four-to-five others) really helped to ground me as I prepared to journey from Atlanta to my childhood home of Savannah, which - for me - still carries a lot of stuff around that issue. We - firstly - looked at the plight of AIDS in our community (which stems from Gil's book "Not in My Family: AIDS in the African American Community", which I referenced in a previous entry). But beyond that discussion, we went even deeper to explore relationships, intimacy, family acceptance, etc.   

 ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: In three hours, I drove my sister and her husband the whole three-and-a-half hours it takes to get from Atlanta to Savannah. Once we arrived, we pulled up to our childhood home to see evidence of what we had heard from other family members and friends who had passed the house over the last few months. It seems Dad and his wife are selling the house. Though it was never a discussion, it seems they are choosing to have a new space that is their own since this is the home in which we all stayed with our mother who passed away in 1994. Clearly, no explanation is required from either of them as they begin this new chapter. It makes my siblings and me a bit sad, but everything must change. And this change has been a long time coming as last year my childhood room was turned into an office and I now sleep on a couch in a drafty den. Nostalgically, for me, there are still symbols of my teen years on the walls - from my Madonna "Borderline" 45-cover/poster, Prince's "When Doves Cry" poster, Diana pull-out from the 1986 "American Music Awards" (from "Black Beat"), and some Windsor Forest High School spirit ribbons. To "choose" perhaps what I am - in my heart - resisting, repressing, and maybe even denying, I got my Dad and his wife a gift of a WELCOME mat to somehow begin my work and healing towards this reality that one more huge change is about to unfold and I must "choose" it (even from my far-removed distance) above the line. It's hard though.

ON THE EIGHTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: On Christmas morning, my sister, her husband, our dad, and his wife took some time to do the traditional gift-opening bit. In addition to the WELCOME mat, I gave other gifts that I hope they will find helpful. We got our traditional gift basket from them - chockful of goodies that will allow us to have smooth skin and smell good. My favorites this year included the "Naturals" products - from the facial cleaning soap to the moisturizing cream. But the fun came from seeing my best friend Natalie, her husband Dwayne and their two daughters, Lydia and Hannah - the cutest pair of "Cheetah Girls" you'll ever see. They came by my Dad's house, so I could give them their gifts. And they were really grateful.

ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: My family became a part of my 12 DAYS OF DREAMGIRLS campaign. On CHRISTMAS night, after multiple CHRISTMAS dinners between my dad's side of the family and my mom's side of the family, 23 FAMILY MEMBERS (from mom's side) gathered at the REGAL theater for "DREAMGIRLS". I have to say having seen it eight times before that in New York City and Chicago, the Savannah audiences were a little meek. Still, most of my folks enjoyed the movie immensely (except for the few who wondered why there was so much singing in the film). I guess the fact that it's a MUSICAL was lost on some. Then, the next day, Ern (who joined me for one of the Ziegfeld screenings in New York City), his sister Niecy, her daughter Taylor, and I did a matinee in Savannah of "DREAMGIRLS". Still a limp audience, but the folks say they enjoyed it. Not everybody has to give standing ovations to the big screen the way that I had been experiencing in earlier, more enthusiastic screenings. However folks choose to enjoy "DREAMGIRLS" is all good.  

ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: My family and I didn't stop with the "DREAMGIRLS". The next day, we all gathered for BOWLING, left-overs at cousin Felicia's place, and GUESSTURES! At the bowling alley, we cast everybody as a character from "DREAMGIRLS" and had a hoot of a good time with that. I was JAMES "THUNDER" EARLY (EDDIE MURPHY's character) and I gave lots of pelvic thrusts and yelps after my spares and strikes. This, of course, was the day after we all found out about the death of JAMES BROWN who is one of the composites folded into this EARLY character. So, that was special. And we laughed so much in the course of that day - from bad bowling, folks falling, and the GUESSTURES just took the laughter over-the-top as some cousins just couldn't control their mouth and though the rules are you can't "speak", some just felt they had to. ("Don't you see what I'm trying to do down here [with my gesture]....????", one cousin exclaimed. That's a disqualifier, if I've ever heard one. BUT HILARIOUS!!!).

ON THE 11TH DAY OF CHRISTMAS: I  made it back to Atlanta on Wednesday night in time to hang out with my dear friend and protege Chris. He is a former journalist from Tennessee (Nashville was his last post...). But now he is studying at the Interdenominational Theological Center (ITC), which is a part of the consortium Atlanta University Center which includes Morehouse, Spelman, and Clark Atlanta University. I'm so proud of Chris and the choices he is continuing to make in the way of designing his life and career. I'm even more excited to have met his friends Jamil and Janice, who too are ITC students and good, positive people for Chris to be around as he shifts the trajectory of his brand.  And how glad was I when all of them agreed to support my "12 DAYS OF DREAMGIRLS" campaign. After we enjoyed dessert, champagne, and other cocktails at CAFE INTERMEZZO, we went to Atlantic Station for an after-midnight run of "DREAMGIRLS", which Chris and Janice hadn't seen. Jamil had just seen it (and I had seen it 10 times). So, we ALL had a great time. After the movie, Chris and I did an all-nighter at WAFFLE HOUSE, discussing life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. We always have a good time together and lots to talk about. This time was no exception. And I look forward to watching Chris' growth in 2007 as I too look forward to more good times and sharing. MUCH LOVE, CHRIS!

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS:

I had a lovely last supper at HOUSTON's in Atlanta (Ashford-Dunwoody) with my sister and managed to get back home to Jersey in one piece. Through all of the aforementioned, I was missing my boo Anthony who - as of this writing - is on a plane coming to New York City to ring out 2006 and ring in 2007 with me. It's been a year and a month now that we have been together (from the long distance) and though we've managed many of the challenges, I missed him something terrible over the holiday. It will be nice to reconnect joyfully through this weekend and look at what our next days will bring us. He too has committed to join me for my 12TH DAY OF DREAMGIRLS, the final screening that we will be able to experience together (since we didn't get the chance to sit next to each other at the Ziegfeld opening night). So, there will be a little to report --- perhaps - come the New Year on the weekend. Meanwhile, BE BLESSED and HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 

The last week before Christmas has been chockful of many more things than my "12 DAYS OF DREAMGIRLS" campaign. I conducted a wonderful interview with multi-talented director J. Maurice Jamal for the re-designed and upcoming issue of ROCKSTAR Magazine (formerly "Ballroom Rockstar" Magazine, which featured me in its debut issue earlier this year). Well, it's poised for a reinvention in February. And I look forward to sharing more with you about my interview and Jamal's sophomore film project, the very funny and poignant "DIRTY LAUNDRY"  (starring Loretta Devine, Rockmond Dunbar, Jennifer Lewis, etc. www.dirtylaundrythemovie.com). Also, I'll key you into some ROCKSTAR buzz come the New Year. (On the bottom right picture below, see Jamal, my friend Camille - in lavender - and me in the middle).

Additionally, I had a few holiday sets to attend, including my favorite boutique N's Christmas gathering. (www.nharlemnewyork.com)
That Wednesday, the eve of my departure, made for a night of social adventure that would never end. But it was important for me to stay in it as I continued to run into some special folks who - without knowing - I needed to see before I left for Georgia. There was my Brian Palmer who owns NATIVE and he and I got the chance to fellowship over cocktails at his restaurant. My Carl Nelson is off to South Africa through the New Year, and I got the chance to not only catch up with him. But he had the most awesome business card holder for me (featuring an animated, interpreted image of the original "DREAMGIRLS" icon [THREE CHOREOGRAPHED LEGS PEEKING OUT OF THE SLIT OF THREE LONG AND UNIFORM GOWNS as created by Deborah Gregory (www.cheetahrama.com/ ) and made available via HARLEMMADE, owned by another friend Murphy with whom I got the chance to hang out at an afterset downtown in Manhattan. www.harlemmade.com/ ]. I also saw my dear friend/former casting director and actress Sidra Smith, who has been spending lots of time in Ghana of late. But she came home to pack her bags (from having been here in NYC for five years) and go back to Ghana where she has been called. She has been over there producing a politically-based talk show called Time with David hosted by David Ampofo, who came with Sidra to New York and I got to meet him at the N party.  Aside from producing one of West Africa's most popular Interview programs, she is also running a public relations company in which David Ampofo is the CEO.  She says she has learned more from all of this in the last eight months of being in Ghana than she's learned in eight years. With that, she's selling all of her earthly goods (at least the ones in her Harlem apartment) and the proceeds from that sale will go to AGAPE CHILDREN'S HOME.  They support sixty seven (67) boys who have no mother, father or family.  Most of them are from Ghana and Liberia.  Sidra spends every weekend with them and it has been the most wonderful experience ever for her, she says. See her with three of the fellows she wishes she could adopt. And one day she may be able to do just that. CONGRATS SIDRA!  To learn more about the orphan home and organization, please visit www.agapegospelmission.org 

And of course, inside all of this, I did take the time to see my #7 and #8 "DREAMGIRLS". I'm happy to report that the film is still the same (smile!) and it still continues to knock my socks off. At screening #7 at The Ziegfeld, I ran into singer extraordinaire Marva Hicks who was in attendance with Star Jones Reynolds. We all had a pleasant exchange about the film. (Mrs. Reynolds filled in on Michael Eric Dyson's radio show last week in New York City as that update goes. She's in reinvention mode for her career and - to me (in that brief moment)  - read kinder and gentler? I love a comeback. So, I'm open --- eyes and heart --- to see what she has in store.). At screening #8, which was a matinee at The Ziegfeld, Tony-Award-winning choreographer and director George Faison ("The Wiz") came over to me and said "HI!". Faison, who I believe has a cameo in "DREAMGIRLS", too invited me up to his fabled and famous "Firehouse" where I understand glorious Harlem parties transpire at the click of a shiny red pump. I look forward to experiencing one of them. Come screening #9 (of 12), I'll know for sure. (Actually, with the pic I've selected, I'm almost certain it's him in the Cadillac Car scene where he buys a Cadillac and gets the keys to the car... and the 45 single of "Cadillac Car" by James Thunder Early).

I too had to wrap up another of my last TV projects before taking the time to update my own resume reel. Every year this time, when I get a little room to breathe from my busy itinerary, I always take some time to update my resume reel with my latest work. It's good down-time (uninterrupted) to look at where I've been and - inside that - what's working and not working. I can then begin to identify and create where I'm going. (And usually, the editor of my updates and tweaks is Paul, who is an editor at my favorite post-house to do business: Murray Hill. www.murrayhillstudios.com/ ) 

?UESTLOVE (from THE ROOTS), and MC LYTE. The balance of the reel includes work from the last year and change on back to the turn of the new millennium, including the pilot "tvQ" which I hosted for Hurricane Productions and one of my guest spots on ESPN 2's "Cold Pizza". In reflection, I'm clear I am on the right path, moving - with momentum and surrender - to the next level. MEANWHILE, not on the blog for legal purposes, there's much more work that I've done that you hopefully have caught on national TV.